This topic is nothing new and I've gone through the forum reading similar threads to comfort myself. Now that I'm on the exact same boat, I need to get this off my chest.
I work the night shift at a busy telemetry floor. I have 2 weeks left of orientation before I'm on my own. And just the thought of it makes my stomach turn
. No more preceptor to validate my actions and to turn to when I have questions. I feel like I'm putting out fires instead of being in control. If you stop me in the middle of my running around and ask me about my patient, I feel like I can barely tell you anything. Most of the time I'm faking it- I put on this happy face of someone who knows what they're doing- and I have this nagging voice in my head telling me that it's only a matter of time before I'm found out. It only takes one concerned family member or observant patient to expose me for the fraud that I am. There are many things I still don't know. One of my worst fears is to get fired by my patient for being an incompetent nurse.
I like what I do, but I am always filled with anxiety the day before my shift. I really, really want to be an excellent nurse. I know it takes time and experience, but I am longing for that day when I am more confident in what I'm doing and that I am actually looking forward to come to work. I'm determined to get though this, grow, and gain more experience. I just wish I didn't have all these negative thoughts and inhibitions