Feeling like Failure

  1. Hey everyone
    I have just finished my first year and a half of licensed practical nursing after I got my full license and I feel like a failure and that I should switch careers.
    I cannot tell if my personality doesn't match up with the profession, if im burned out already or if simply its because I am not working in the area of nursing that suits me (running out of choices).

    I have literally been casual at all the local hospitals, residential care homes (private and government ran) and had a line in community nursing. My first position required I drive 8 hours (4 hours both directions) from home to the town next to the hospitals location...than drive an 1 hour both ways every night to and from the hospital from the nearby town.....I did this for 6 months till i moved to that nearby town and just had to drive the daily 2 hours. On top of the drive I had to deal with the condescending nurses when i got to work and the lack of emotional support provided on the floor when patients would give you a heck and a half. So I decided to pick up further casual opportunities in town where the have residential facilities..... I hate doing personal care (but i suck it up and do it) and I just hated the lack of organization that residential care had.... post-its all over the walls in the nursing station with information- nothing was updated- disciplinary action was not being taken on care aids who did not do there work and sometimes left residents soaked all night! Not to mention, the older nurses were brash and i get so annoyed with brash unfriendly people. I also found the work mundane and I actually get very annoyed with confused residents....To be honest my values are in family taking care of there own family members so residential care homes I feel are just wrong in general and we need a new system...... and last but not least I found a line in community nursing..... LOVED THE WORK.....HATE the short 4 hours days 5 days a week where i can pick up any more shifts so im going broke in the job and had to quit only a month after.......

    I feel like a failure....I am back in residential cause there are no opportunities in the local hospital for lines and not much work as a causal. I now cry more often about everything... starting to get anxiety going to work and complain all the time as management SUCKS at this facility and our union does not advocate for nurses as its mostly for HCA's....... I am in an RN line and dont get shift differentials and the lowest pay that an LPN can get.....I work nights 4 on 4 off.... I run an 100 bed residential facility at night and im literally thinking of quiting this line too as im not getting paid, the care is unsafe, and im burnt from not getting support and worrying if im doing things right all the time.
    are there other people that switch there jobs this often in nursing? Do i sounds like someone who shouldn't be a nurse? I know i'm starting to get depressed but I'm wondering if its because all the effort i have put into getting to these jobs and just finding something decent that i don't go in debt over....

    thought about getting into health science professions instead....
  2. Visit Elicia.Matthea profile page

    About Elicia.Matthea, CNA, LPN

    Joined: Sep '17; Posts: 3; Likes: 5


  3. by   3ringnursing
    Being a new nurse is tough. Finding your feet as a new grad while getting experience is stressful I think for all new nurses. Adding to our stress is the feeling all new nurses have wishing they knew so much more right away straight out of school, but that kind of experience only comes from actually working.

    I bounced around a bit too in the first few years of my nursing career. Finding a job that both pays well and is a good fit for who you are sometimes take some time, and unfortunately searching.

    It sounds like LPN positions are thin on the ground where you live currently. Are you in a position to perhaps consider moving, or travel nursing? If you don't have school age kids, or other dependents that might be an option.

    Another option would be to consider getting your RN to have a wider variety of jobs available to you. You many be able to do online courses if that was something you wanted to think about.

    If not, then maybe talking to some of your previous nursing instructors to get other ideas regarding nursing positions in your area you may not yet have considered may give you additional ideas regarding available job opportunities in your immediate area.

    If you really don't think nursing is for you then I encourage you to spend some time thinking about what you would like better (you only live once, may as well please yourself while your at it) but if it's merely just a case of new nurse jitters and self doubts then give it more time for your skills and confidence to grow.

    Please bear in mind that none of us graduated with 30 years of awesome, solid nursing skills under our belt - that has to be fostered and cultivated the old fashioned way. I am so sorry all new nurses feel so pressured as new grads to feel this way, but it seems you are in good company because I felt like that, and it seems a large majority of our peers have too.

    I think given time you will prove to be an outstanding nurse. I wish you the very best - hugs my friend.
    Last edit by 3ringnursing on Sep 10, '17