First job, feeling down

[smiley321]

Hi everyone!

I am a brand new grad and just started my first nursing job. I've been reading everyone's threads and in general everyone seems to be feeling the same as me, super nervous and feeling not so great. Knowing I'm not alone in feeling this way helps a lot!

I just wanted a bit of input. As I mentioned, I'm a new grad and have had two shifts in my first nursing job. I'm working in the same place I did my final clinical, where I was paired with two mentors. However, now that I've started as a grad I have NO orientation at all. Zero! I guess they figured it's because I was there as a student, however there are so many things that as a student I didn't do because I was still learning the basics. I am now feeling the pressure from transition of student to nurse and I feel so dumb! Little things that I know are really quite simple but I don't know how to do because I never have. (things like how and when to page the MDs, questions from patients families about procedures, etc) I'm so used to having someone there to mentor me that I am constantly second-guessing myself. My confidence is zero. Also, when I was a student I had the senior-most mentors so I had great experience dealing with the highest acuity patients, but now as a grad I'm expected to have lower acuity but more patients. It's really intimidating as I have not had the greatest practice prioritizing more patients. I ask lots of questions but I feel like they think I'm asking too many or asking silly questions.

All in all I don't feel great, I look forward to working but also kind of dread going to work. Right now I just try to get through the shift with my assessments and vitals done, meds given safely and on time, so basically the very bare minimum. I don't want to give only the bare minimum nursing care, I want to be great! I KNOW it will get better with experience, that I need to ask questions, that I need to be confident and sure of myself, not let others get to me, etc. I'm already learning so much which really helps me feel better, but I just want to fast forward a year! I want to be confident and to be a good nurse who knows what she's doing but I feel the complete opposite of that right now!

Thanks for reading!

[awalker1015]

I feel the same way. I have been precepting the past five weeks during the day on a cardiac floor at a major hospital. I am moving to nights tonight and am terrified about the schedule change.

My preceptors have been great, but I feel like I am just barely getting by though they give me great feedback. Like you I both look forward to and dread going to work. I feel so overwhelmed learning the basics, like who to call and when, which paperwork to fill out, etc that I don't feel I am learning the nursing skills and judgment I should. My floor is very chaotic with constant admissions and D/Cs, making it very hard to for me to get my tasks completed. Plus, I cannot let go of work after a shift, especially if there is an event.

Everyone says it gets better. I certainly hope so. I did very well in nursing school and honestly couldn't feel any more stupid right now.

[CharleeJo.RN]

Believe me - it DOES get better. A million times better! I've worked as an LPN for about 2 years now and just graduated with my ADN, and it's amazing where I'm at now compared to where I was as a brand-new nurse. I never thought I'd get to this point, professionally or emotionally. I'm only 3 weeks into a new job in an entirely new and specialized field, so coming to this place was kind of like being a new grad again - I didn't know jack about this field and basically had to start from scratch. I still spend evenings researching procedures and meds we use.

However, the difference between now and then is my confidence. Back then, I had ZERO confidence, and due to everyone beating me down (coworkers, supervisors) I was convinced I'd never amount to anything resembling a decent nurse. I was fired from my first nursing job - basically for poor judgment - and that was one of the lowest points in my life. I'm talking major depression, seclusion, just all around misery. Felt like such a failure, fool, all those things. I did very well in school, but in the real world, I just couldn't cut it.

But I was wrong. After being fired, I decided to spend a few months before pursuing another nursing job. I went back to my old non-nursing position per diem to make some money, and with the rest of my time I did a few things - spent a lot of time dealing with what happened, working through my own feelings of failure and unworthiness, then building myself back up. I studied skills I knew I lacked in, reviewed basics and common diseases/meds, and then looked for another nursing job. I learned from my mistakes at the last place and somehow I did very well at this new job. I was able to get organized, utilize resources, seek help when needed and not be ashamed to ask for it, and prioritize so I could deliver the best patient care with what time I had.

Now I'm even better at being a nurse and actually get commended for my skills, confidence, and patient interaction. I love where I work and I know I am good at what I do.

What I'm trying to say is - don't worry, you'll get there. It just takes a lot of time, patience, and practice. Continue to work on things that you need to work on, seek help, and ask others for tips - how do you stay organized? how you do prioritize? how do you keep track of all the little things that come up? I used to keep a notebook with me and every thing that came up I'd write down, so I wouldn't forget, and I could prioritize what needed to be done and mark it off as I finished it. I'd gather supplies ahead of time and do as much as I could with one patient while I was with them - which meant I had to get all my info before starting rounds, so I could anticipate what needed to be done and do it as I went along.

Just take your time, you're not expected to be fast yet. What's important is that you're safe and doing things correctly. With time, you'll get better and faster. Just keep faith in yourself and continue to build on your skills. Good luck.

[LVNinCali]

Reading this thread made me feel so much better.

I just started my first job barely a month ago and I feel exactly the same way. After one week of orientation, I was put on the floor and I felt so lost. There were several times I stayed 3 hours after my shift was over just to finish up on paperwork and charting. My other co-workers are helpful, understanding, and supportive and always tell me,"Don't worry, everybody goes through this when they first start out, you'll get better." Though it makes me feel better when I hear this, I just wish I can be at their level already.

I know with time, the more experience we get, the more we become the kind of nurses we always imagined we would be.

Thanks again for this thread, glad to know I'm not the only one who feels exactly the same way. :heartbeat Hang in there, we can get through this.

[xybsn11]

Thanks for your post. I came looking for some reassurance that I am not alone in my feelings of inadequacy. I am also a new grad. and did well in school. I had a job offer even before I graduated on the floor where I co-oped and did my role transition, so I have the advantage of knowing many of my co-workers. I am in my last two weeks of orientation and still feel overwhelmed. I'm 53 years old, this is a second career for me and I don't want to fail, but it seems I have a lot of trouble keeping up with all that needs to be done during the 12 hour night shift. I often end up sweating and with a headache as the night progresses. My younger, more experienced co-workers seem so confident and work at a normal pace and get it all done (I assume) yet I struggle. They all tell me "it will click someday" and are willing to answer my questions, but I still struggle with self doubt. Your story has been an encouragement! I really was wondering if I had made a horrible mistake changing careers. Thanks!! :redpinkhe