Filial Responsibility Laws

[Jo Dirt]

My 82 y/o father-in-law came to live with us this past August. he claimed he wanted out of the assisted living facility because the people there were getting on his nerves, food was bad, etc. etc. etc. (he has always been a very critical and negative person). So we moved him here. He was okay for awhile, then a couple of weeks ago started to become very irritable and uncooperative and increasingly unable to do for himself. He said he wanted to go back to assisted living but when we contacted them they said they could not let him back into assisted living because they had to do too much for him and he could only be admitted to the nursing home. Well, the nursing home is a good bit more and his income he gets from retirement and social security will not cover it. We checked around all the nursing homes in the area and it is all the same--we would have to come up with $1200-1800 extra monthly to keep him in a nursing home. With three small children and another on the way there is no way on earth my husband and me could come up with this.

It got to the point where my father-in-law would not walk. We know it was just for our benefit because my son went into his trailer and found him walking around. But when husband and me came he would freeze up and refuse to walk. My husband hurt himself from picking him up. One morning last week we brought him his breakfast to find him in the floor, feces everywhere, smeared on the walls....he said there were bee's trying to get him.

To make a long story short, we got him admitted to a psychiatric ward for the elderly. They have found no episodes of psychosis while he has been there, and he now has an advocate who is trying to force us to put him in a nursing home, because he has told her we don't want him here the kids get on his nerves, he feels trapped here, etc. (we have tried to get him involved in the senior citizens center but he refused and said he had nothing in common with the "hicks" around here.)

At any rate, we are stressed out. We have been told he can get Medicaid to cover what his income won't, but that in the end they will still

come after me and my husband and any assets we have. This seems incredibly unfair. He is a WWII vet but doesn't qualify for any benefits. Are there any kind of advocates to help children of elderly who are in danger of being put in financial ruin to keep up their elderly parents?