Feeling stupid.. :(

[sarahg88]

Hello fellow nursies.

Bottom line, i feel stupid. And i need to vent, and maybe get some opinions on how I feel, and maybe some words of advice. I just graduated school in April, it felt great. I wasn't your top notch A+ student in all my courses but I did very well in my clinicals. I really could have put more effort into my school work, but I made it through and felt really great about what I accomplished... typical college student I suppose. I definitly DID NOT spend every night going home and doing my readings... but i put my blood, sweat, and tears into my graded homework. I would sometimes wait until the night before to study for a test.... but I always did well on them and Now i regret it.

I feel like the enjoyment of being graduated has been sucked out of me by worry and anxiety about my performance as a nurse. I'm scared to ask for help. I know its encouraged... but when its something im expected to know, such as a disease, med, skill, the smallest easiest thing... Im afraid to ask... bcuz i feel like they will look at me with 20000000 heads and say "how the heck did you pass school if you don't know that" .... in the 2 years of my studies we were bombarded with papers, tests, labs, readings... how is it possible to remember all of it? Because I don't. Sometimes I feel like I know nothing and that I should just forget the past 2 years and go into a simpilar job.. like being a cashier, i dunno. Nursing was my dream.. now I feel like its my worst nightmare. I cry myself to sleep worrying about going into work and looking stupid and imcompetent. I wish I knew what everyone else seems to know...

I just had my first orientation shift last night and felt so overwhelmed with information about paperwork, charting, and the residents that I felt the need to vomit. The LPN told me maybe 200 different pieces of important information. And the scariest thing of all is that last night was my ONLY shift for being orientated to that unit. I'm causal... so next time I go back to that unit, ILL be running the show. WHAT THE HECK? I'm afraid someone will die, ill forget too many things, that ill be fired, or lose my license.

HELP MEEEEE!!!!!!!

[Scooter321]

I have no words of advice for you because I have only just graduated myself and will be taking NCLEX next week. I just wanted to send you some hugs :hug: and say "hang in there." From reading these boards, if you DIDN'T feel overwhelmed I'd be surprised. One night of orientation sounds crazy though--how have the last couple of nights been for you?

There's no way to remember everything you learned in NS and process all the new information too. I don't think it's humanly possible. You're not stupid, or you wouldn't have made it this far.

Good luck, and congrats on your new career!

[shoegalRN, RN]

I will say this:

In this field, you need to put your ego aside and ASK FOR HELP! Not asking for help in fear of what someone may or may not think of you can cause you to kill someone!

I've been a nurse for 2 years and I STILL ask questions every time I work. I am the first to admit when I've never done something and will seek out someone for help. You have to get over not wanting to ask for help due to fear of being talked about.

Nobody graduates nursing school knowing everything.

[Hawkens]

This may sound silly but take notes. Get a little note pad and jot down the info and review it as needed to jog your memory. This method has helped me in various jobs I have had.

[new_grad]

OKAY ROOKIELPN88, START YOUR ENGINES!

This is where the rubber meets the road. You repeat after me: "I KNOW MORE THAN I THINK I DO." Now, believe it and get to work on remembering it!

Because you admit you didn't pound the stuff into your brain in school you need to do some catch-up. I know, because you're a good nurse, while you are providing care every time you have a question you will ask someone.

In addition, every time you don't know something while NOT providing care write it down and look it up at the earliest opportunity. Homework you didn't do in school will become your homework now. Don't be deterred; because you are "living the dream" all of this will come more easily and will "stick" this time.

Good luck! Keep us posted!

[sarahg88]

thanks for the hugs. After tomorrow ill be on my own. It's just as overwhelming.. and because of how much of a nervous wreck i am, i made my first med error today. I beat myself up over it for the whole shift but now that I'm home and have a clear head i've realized that it happens to the best of us, and to every nurse at some point.. especially in the beginning. I'll let u know how being on your own is!

[opossum]

One shift of orientation is hardly enough to even feel ORIENTED to a unit. I'm a new nurse and have been at my job 2 months in critical care...I'm JUST getting to the point where I know where the bedpans are...

Seriously, I think it's natural to feel overwhelmed. I cried my whole way home from work tonight. I was so disorganized, so scattered and had a really complex pt (in addition to one other pt who was on the mend but had scary BP readings...). I am truly fried...I don't even know where to begin...

I've made several med errors those first few weeks and of course, beat myself up about them. What helped me was to make myself totally unavailable to others while I was scanning/giving meds to a pt. It still feels weird to say "not right now, sorry" when someone interrupts me during a med pass and asks for my help boosting some other pt up in bed or something, but I have to focus on my pt's safety first. Delegation is ESSENTIAL to being a safe, productive nurse and I think it takes a long time to develop that skill. Please don't be too hard on yourself. Ask your supervisor if there is any further training or practice you can do with med passes or documentation. Another big problem for me with meds was the electronic charting....it just takes getting used to.

But all this is so much easier said than done....sometimes I wonder if my coworkers are thinking 'Why in the hell did they hire Opossum? She can barely walk and chew gum at the same time...'

I think our work experience and confidence as a nurse will hinge upon our supervisor and coworkers. Do you feel supported by them? Do you feel like you can ask them a million and one questions (which you SHOULD do!) or do they seem rude, cliquish, standoffish, etc.? These are just things to think about...

Hang in there!! You can do this! Hell, if I can so can you...!