Feeling down about preceptor

[Tink87, BSN, LPN, RN]

I recently made a change from a cardiac floor to a trauma ICU and honestly, I'm feeling a little down. I have only a few weeks left on orientation and I'm getting very mixed messages from my preceptors.

I have had AT LEAST 8 different preceptors during my orientation. The vast majority have said that I'm absolutely fine and will be great. They have only minor corrections for me, all of which are a matter of personal preference. However, my one main preceptor seems to nitpick me to death. I feel like I can do nothing right.

I understand that ICU nurses are very particular and I realize that she doesn't mean to make me feel so inadequate but it's driving me crazy. I feel as if everything is incorrect unless I do it just as she does. The wording in my notes is never correct for her, I get scolded for not memorizing phone numbers (to be fair, almost no one else has them memorized either and we have them all on our badge), and she goes on very long tangents about things while I'm trying to work with critical patients which makes me lose my train of thought.

I know it's wrong to get annoyed by it but I am. I don't want to be defensive but it's very difficult. I am trying to develop my own flow and I feel like she is not allowing that. I don't really know what to do. I don't want to come off as a jerk or a know-it-all. I 100% realize that I still have so much to learn and I love soaking up the wisdom of the experienced ICU nurses.

Does anyone have advice? I hope I didn't come off too badly here. I do know that my preceptor has so much knowledge and experience, and she can teach me so much. I just wish she'd allow me to do my own thing (within reason, obviously) without correcting every little thing.

[JBMmom, MSN, NP]

Just like with every relationship in life, some people just don't mix well. You don't have to apologize for being annoyed, your feelings are valid. Unfortunately, there's not much you can do but swallow them until you're off orientation. While it's unfortunate in a way that you've had so many preceptors, maybe that's preferable to having just this person the whole time, because you've had some positive feedback from others. Some people have a harder time accepting that more than one way is acceptable for certain aspects of nursing. There are some absolutes to providing safe patient care, but many times you develop personal habits that influence how you provide care, and they can all be safe, but different. I hope that you can get through the last weeks with your preceptor, try to remember has the best interests of the patients, and you as a new employee, at heart. We all have our rough spots, you'll get through! Good luck.

[Tink87, BSN, LPN, RN]

JBmom,

Thanks for your reply. I know you are right. She did allow me to be more independent the other day because she was needed to cover other patients for some meetings other nurses had and I was so happy. There definitely are some absolutes but when someone gets super nitpicky about things like wording, it drives me nuts. It also became very clear the other day that we have very different philosophies on patient care. As a person who has watched their parent slowly die, I'm very realistic about the need to sometimes bring up to a patient the desire to withdraw extreme intervention. She, on the other hand, is a 'do absolutely everything as long as you can' type (or so it seemed). The providers and I seemed to be on the same page but she gave a lot of pushback on the issue.

I only have two more shift with this person, then I go back to a few of my other preceptors for the remainder of orientation (one of which is actually the nurse in charge of organizing orientation for all new nurses). I'm just a bit worried about what this person will say about me for this week's evaluation. I'm trying so hard not to be argumentative or defensive but I think it may unintentionally come out sometimes. Luckily, the orientation coordinator already knows about my issues with this person. I know I can make it through. I'm just anxious about the next two shift.