I graduated from nursing school 12 years ago and went straight to a busy med-surg floor. I was 40 at the time.
My life outside the hospital was in chaos (a new marriage and a couple of teenagers and more...), and I took the midnight shift because the pace seemed a little less hectic. No sleep, stress at work and at home, and new nurse jitters.
Maybe it's just my imagination, but it seemed that some of the senior nurses (not necessarily older) picked up on my fear and paranoia. The would say things like , "You should get paid by the mile" because I checked my patient each hour and sometimes more. One nurse told me that I made them all angry because I would ask one nurse for an opinion regarding a matter then turn around and ask another. That's true. I was trying to learn and garner information, and, not surprisingly, if I asked three different nurses about a procedure, I often got 2 or three different answers. I ran into a nurse from my floor after I left and he confirmed that the staff did seem to enjoy picking on me - eating their young, as he put it.
I gave it up after two years. It got so I felt sick at my stomach as I approached the hospital. My nerves got the best of me. I gave my notice after two years and walked away from nursing with a fairly bitter taste in my mouth.
Now, I'm ticked. I know I can be a good nurse, and I want to go back and do labor and delivery, my first love. I've bought several new texts and book on maternal child and nursing basics, and I've given myself a time frame of 6 months to a year to prepare for a return.
I need help. How do I overcome the fear? How do you manage the anxiety about screwing up a med or a procedure and really hurting someone?
I'm open to any and all suggestions and I'll thank you in advance for taking time out of your busy lives to respond.
