Families suddenly leaving

[RiverSunny]

I'm pretty new to nursing, but I've noticed that sometimes if I go into a room when family members are visiting they will suddenly say, "I gotta go," or "it's time to leave." Even after I apologize for interrupting and offer to come back later, or reassure they can have their time, the family still insists on going. Now, either I have perfect timing for doing assessments and treatments, or the family is just looking for an excuse to go.

I'm guessing that if it's hard for a family member to be there it would be a good way to leave without hurting any feelings, or maybe people don't want to interfere with the nurses' working. I know the answer probably varies with each family, but have any of the more seasoned nurses seen this behavior before? Anything I can do to help the resident and their family?

[RNsRWe, ASN, RN]

Yes, we've seen this before, heaven knows how many times. It's a natural "out" for visitors (family or otherwise) who have been wanting to leave for some time but couldn't find a polite way to say so. They don't want to be rude, hurt their loved ones' feelings. So they wait for an opportunity.

You coming into the room, even if it's going to be for five or ten minutes, is enough "out" for them. They can pull themselves together quickly, brightly, and say they're just "getting out of the way" (see, they're not rude, they're actually being polite!). And they get to leave without hurting feelings, or feeling guilty themselves (or not as much).

Don't worry about it. If they really wanted to stay, as long as you've assured them they're not in the way (bright smiley!) and you'll be done quickly, it's not your fault they're leaving. They have a choice.