Failed in clinicals

[Exhuasted]

Okay so I'll try to keep what could be a very long story as concise as possible.

I started what should have been my last semester of AD nursing school on August 22nd, but on August 6th my life changed in a big way, and not for the better, and I didn't have time to get my head clear between then and starting the new semester. I already suffer from severe depression and anxiety, and going through extremely distressing circumstances just made everything tremendously worse.

I had done fair on clinicals on our 6 hour days - not great, but adequate, but after midterm we started doing 12 hour days and it just totally threw me off, and I just never could seem to catch up. I ended up making an error that did not result in patient harm but had the potential to be harmful, and it was a result of my anxiety clouding my thinking. This combined with my mediocre performance previously ended up getting me kicked out of the class.

I was supposed to graduate December 15th and now I'm not and it's pretty heartbreaking. I'm in a terrible financial bind and postponing my graduation is NOT going to help that, and it's extremely stressful, and I'm very depressed that I won't be graduating with a few really great friends I've made in this program, and I just feel like such a failure and like I'll never amount to anything... I'm trying to tell myself that it's just the depression talking and I'm trying to work through all of this.

Although I've dealt with some very difficult instructors in this program, I was very thankful for my instructors' attitudes as far as my situation. I was terrified about my meeting with them, but they were actually very considerate; they were honest and realistic, but in a tactful considerate way, and they seemed genuinely concerned for my mental health. They want me to take this time to really work on myself and take care of myself so that if I chose to return next semester I'll be in a place mentally that will allow me to be competent and not send me over the edge.

I think I probably will be returning next semester. I've had a lot of doubts about whether nursing is right for me. It's what I WANT to do, but I've had doubts about whether I'm capable of being the kind of nurse patients deserve. Even if I never hurt anybody, I just don't want to give anything less than excellent care. So the best plan I can come up with at this point is to do as my instructors asked and try to take care of myself and get better, and attempt the next semester in a better frame of mind, but if I still can't improve significantly, to call it quits and try to pursue a more appropriate career path for me. I won't try to force it if it's not working.

SO, my questions for you all are these:

• If you've ever failed for clinical performance did you repeat the semester, and if so, how did it turn out for you?
  
• Any advice for coping with my negative feelings about failing?
  
• If I do determine that nursing is not right for me, do you have any advice on coping with the feelings that that determination will bring about?
  
• *Most important* If I do return next semester, do you have any advice on improving my clinical performance? (prioritizing, time management, critical thinking, anything!)
  

One really upsetting thing about this is that I started the semester a little rocky, my first two tests were pretty bad, but I worked my butt off and I pulled my grades up, my grades actually ended up not just safe but actually good! I worked so hard and I was so proud of that, and I just never would have expected that I would be failed for clinicals. This is the first semester in the whole program that I have had problems in clinicals beyond the small things that all students have issues with, this is the first time I have not been on par with the other students, and it hurts. It's been hard all along, I've had to work with everything I've got to even get as far as I did, but I was proud of how far I'd come, and it just really hurts to have ended up here.

[lrobinson5]

I had a rough time in my 4th (last) semester of nursing school, but I did manage to squeak by. We had one classmate that didn't make the grade cut-off and we were heart-broken for her. She came to our pinning ceremony and we all wished she was up there with us. We all stayed in contact with her and she was so happy when she repeated the semester. She said it was the best thing that happened to her, because repeating the class solidified her understanding of hemodynamics and the other critical care concepts, and she also felt more confident in clinical. Today she is an AMAZING nurse in the NICU. I cant tell you what to do, but a positive experience is possible after failing. Good luck

[akulahawkRN, ADN, RN, EMT-P]

I'm going to first say that I'm about 2 years into working as an ED RN. Why do I say this first? It's because I want you to know where this story ends, so to speak.

I was supposed to graduate in 2013 with my original cohort and I failed 3rd semester with just about 1 week of clinical to go and I would have progressed on to 4th semester and graduation that spring. Instead, I failed out. I was given 2 options: transfer into their LVN program and I'd be done in a year or wait and hope that a seat opened up in the next class. Incidentally, the cohort immediately behind mine was following the "new" curriculum and as such, I couldn't roll into their 3rd semester because theirs was different from the one I had just failed out of. So, I waited and I hoped that a seat would open in the RN program. Finally I chose to take an LVN seat and, quite literally, about one hour before I was going to call their office and accept an LVN seat, they called me and offered me a seat in an RN class. I chose the RN seat they offered.

It also meant I had to roll back 2 semesters, into 2nd, because I had to follow the content that had been moved. I was basically required to repeat 2 semesters just to return to where I was before. Honestly, it was the best move I could have made. Because I'd had 2nd and 3rd semesters already, I could focus on those things that I wasn't so strong in. My classmates came to me for advice and guidance because I'd "been there" already. I effectively became a peer tutor.

During this entire time, I also was required to work full time and go to school full time. While I didn't earn straight A grades, I didn't earn any C grades either. I graduated Cum Laude, I was an officer in the nursing association, and I earned two awards: leadership and one that the Faculty created just for me. Had I graduated with my original cohort, the only award I would have earned would have been simply Cum Laude because of my GPA.

You can imagine then that I had figured my stuff out and re-entered the program a far more driven student than I was, with a far stronger knowledge of where my own limits were. I went from marginal, but safe to one of their best.

It sounds like your school's faculty wants the same for you. I suggest you very much use the time to get yourself stabilized. Figure out what caused your failure and correct it and move on. You're being handed a second chance to show them you can do it. The fact they're offering you this means they see that you're capable. It's up to you to do the work and prove them right.