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Ducks in Heaven


Found this on another BB:


Three golfing partners died in a car wreck and went to heaven. Upon

arrival they discover the most beautiful golf course they have ever

seen. St. Peter tells them that they are all welcome to play the

course, but he cautions them that there is only one rule:

Don't hit the ducks.

The men all have blank expressions, and finally one of them

asks "The ducks?"

"Yes", St. Peter replies, "There are millions of ducks walking

around the course and if one gets hit, he squawks then the one next

to him squawks and soon they're all squawkin to beat the band, and

it really breaks the tranquility. If you hit the ducks, you'll be

punished, otherwise everything is yours to enjoy."

After entering the course, the men noted that there was indeed a

gaggle of ducks everywhere.

Within fifteen minutes, one of the guys hit one of them. The duck

squawked, the one next to it squawked and soon there was a deafening

roar of duck quacks.

St. Peter walked up with an extremely homely woman in tow and

asked "Who hit the duck?"

The one who had done it admitted "I did."

Immediately, St. Peter pulled out a pair of handcuffs and cuffed

the man's right hand to the homely woman's left hand. "I told you

not to hit the ducks," he said.

"Now you'll be handcuffed together for eternity.

The other two men were very cautious not to hit any ducks, but a

couple of weeks later, one of them accidentally did. The quacks were

as deafening as before and within minutes St. Peter walked up with

an even uglier woman than before. St. Peter determined which one had

hit the duck by the fear in his face, and cuffed the man's right

hand to the homely woman's left hand.

"I told you not to hit the ducks", he said. "Now you'll be

handcuffed together for eternity."

The third man was extremely careful. Some days he wouldn't even

move for fear of even nudging a duck. After three months of this he

still hadn't hit a duck. St. Peter walked up to the man at the end

of the three months and had with him a knock-out gorgeous woman, the

most beautiful woman the man had ever seen. St. Peter smiled to the

man and then, without a word, handcuffed him to the beautiful woman

and walked off.

The man, knowing that he would be handcuffed to this woman for

eternity, let out a sigh and said "What have I done to deserve this?"

The woman responded "I don't know about you, but I hit a duck."

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