doubts...

[sweetieann]

This might not flow well, but I am just going to vent and type what comes to mind...

I am a 3rd year student in a BSN program and have been having major doubts about nursing:uhoh21: ... I was on a neuro and telemetry floor and I didn't mind that. Right now though, I am at a veteran's hospital on the SICU and i HATE IT. So much that it makes me forget about how I didn't mind the neuro and telemtry floors. I like old people, but so far my experience in the SICU has been remniscent of long term care. I only have to do 48 hours there for a preceptorship, but I am dreading it. 8 hours down, 40 more to go (but that seems like alot when you totally dislike something). Plus, I am on night shift which seems to go so much slower than daylight. I am trying to do 12 hour shifts to get this over and done with, but my first day I did an 8 hour shift and that was miserable, so I can't imagine being there 12 hours. I actually think the thing I hate most is the night shift, but I don't have a choice. I just feel so burned out.

Does nursing get better once you graduate? I hate being a student and feeling like I am forever being watched (even though I know that's the whole point, as I am still learning). I just always feel under the gun and stressed, and this whole night shift isn't helping.

Oh dear, this isn't making much sense I guess. I am just doubting myself and my career choice in general, I guess. I know we have to get exposed to everything, but I wish I didn't have to do clinicals in an area I know I don't ever want to work in. I'd much rather do peds or labor and delivery or even cardiac...daylight.

[ERNurse752, RN]

Doing nights when you aren't a night person can make you feel pretty depressed, which can cloud your thinking and emotions. That could be part of it, like you were thinking.

I hated a lot of my clinicals, and I'm amazed that I made it through. It's hard to suck it up and get through it when you hate it so much...but it will eventually be over and you will be glad you made it, and all the stronger for it.

Just keep on thinking about your long term goals on Peds/L&D/etc. Have you already had your clincals in those areas?

I worked as a SNE while in school, and that helped me a lot...it gave me perspective and showed me that there were areas I liked waiting for me once I was done.

It's also stressful being watched and judged while you're new...makes you feel like crap a lot of the time. Not feeling like you fit in, not feeling a part of things, etc.

I went through all the same things. It will eventually get better. Just hang in there and try to keep it in perspective.

[kitten77]

I am an LVN but just had to reply to your post.

I think what you are experiencing is natural. When you are done with your program You can decide where to work and which shift! If you feel the whole "nursing" thing is not jiving with what you actually want please don't get discouraged. You might want to try for a clinical research position or something where you can make use of your BSN but not in actual nursing. I have noticed some higher up positions in clinical research want a BS in "any of the natural sciences or nursing". Please don't get discouraged - there are many options out there.