Don't think I like Nursing anymore....

[Bella RN, BSN, MSN]

I am appreciative of the fact that I do have a professional degree. I am a RN with a BSN Of 9 years. In my very early 30's and unhappy in nursing. I no longer like shift work, doing the 12 hours. I have done days and nights, ICU areas and no longer want the adrenaline rush of that sector of nursing.

I have been seeking full time employment for over a year and to no avail. I feel like my life is just wasting away. I know this sounds depressing, to me living it is. I used to be so robust and proud to be an RN in my earlier years but somehow I have built some resentment towards my situation and the profession. I don't think bedside nursing is for me anymore perhaps that is where most of my frustration comes in....I have sought non clinical positions and they became short lived.

I just don't know what to do. I currently have a prn position and feel like calling in as often as I can because my heart isn't into it anymore. I love sitting and talking to the patients but I feel like I am just over it.... I don't mean to sound ungrateful but I do not like the trend of emotions I have developed over the years towards nursing. I have been on the side of mgmt to see how mgmt views staff nurses as just "worker bees" I have also been a staff nurse to see how stafff perceives managment.

I am a very dynamic and energetic person. I have lovely personality but I am desperately praying and searching for a full time position that I would feel passionate about. I love public speaking and love computers and interacting with all types of people.

Something that would finally work for me. I am tired of running and going from job to job. Tired of agency and call offs..Tired of getting work from agency and resenting the fact of being there....I know that doesn't even make sense....but I really feel like my days are just wasting away. Staying under the covers doesn't help anymore.....Don't know what to do:crying2: Thank you fellow nurses for reading my thread:o

[llg, PhD, RN]

It sounds to me as if your problem is not so much a "career" problem as it is a "life" problem. You're not happy with life right now and are seeking solutions in different job alternatives ... when in fact, job issues may not be the root of the problem. The change of routine that comes with a new job is attractive and may make you feel good for a little while, but that good feeling wears off after a little while and you find yourself depressed again.

Does that sound about right?

I don't have a quick solution for your problem -- but if I did, I would share it far and wide because I think there are many people feeling similar things. As a society, we have been pretty stressed for several years now and it's starting to wear us down. In situations like this, some people find "renewal" in religion: their faith inspires them to move forward in a positive way.

I'm not big on religion myself, but perhaps the solution to your problem EOES lie in the realm of spirituality, philosophy, psychology, etc. rather than in job counseling. Perhaps it would help you to dig down deep and reflect on the bigger, deeper questions -- such as "Who are you?" "How do you want to be in the world?" "What is your place in society?" "What connections with other people do you want to cultivate?" "What do you want your contribution to the world to be?" etc. As you think through those questions, you may find yourself evaluating your life and your current circumstances with fresh eyes -- and that might give you some clues as to wear you should take yourself next.

Have a good journey.

[Bella RN, BSN, MSN]

You are soooooooooooo right on!!!!

I guess I am unhappy with where I am in life. :crying2:I feel that I have quite a few things that I earnestly and passionately desire but it hasn't manifested yet. I have traveled the world and saved a whole lot of money in my account and I look back and see even then at the Zenith of my life I was not happy deep down because what I have been searching for can't be bought, nor can it be found in an orientation.

So yes I agree with having to look introspectly within myself. But some days it is hard to do because I am faced with pain that I have tried to push aside that somehow always resurfaces. I think alot of it has to do with a broken heart and see alot of what you thought would have been disappear right before your eyes....I don't know how one can fix that???:confused:Believe me I have tried. And I think that is why I have tried running from place to place or job to job seeking solace. Even seeking solace through self medicating---and that comes in many forms.

So thank you for being candid with me. Those around me think the solution is a new position but I don't think that is it. Yes I desire a full time position for financial reasons, but I do need something deeper than that as well.

I will say this if you see another staff member with high absenteeism pull them aside and try to talk to them and find out what may be eating away at them...there usually something that is. Thank you once again:nurse: