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Dont know if I made the right decision

lakesg1 lakesg1 (New) New

I am a new nurse. I've always wanted to be a nurse untill now. I'm starting to have doubts about this feild. I love helping others, I also love the patient intraction and being able to make a difference in someone's life. But what I do not like is the challenging legal issues that we are faced with. Lately my RN supervisor has been literally stalking me. I fell like she is singleling me out and looking through my work to try to find errors. Other nurse are complaining about her as well but I feel like she has backed off of them because they are a bit meaner or bolder than I am. The place i work for is very unorganized and I feel like I am being written up for things that have already taken place before I became a nurse. I am considering changing my work place I think this may help me feel better about being a nurse. Sometimes it is just where you work. Im hoping that is my issue. I feel fed up, a bit uneasy,and kind os stressed out. I want to file a grievance against her but don't know what to do. It seems like in nursing you have to have a mean demeanor it feels like a doggy dog line of work where someone always have to be the blame. Does any new nurse out there feel like they are being blamed for things because it is easier to blame the new nurse? I dread going to work now because I feel like Im walking on glass. I never know what this lady is going to come up with next. It seems like things are getting worse everyday no matter how hard I try to stay error free. I sick of her she even tried to drag me in something that she did wrong and I truly believe she tried to drag me in one her mistakes. I think it is time for me to leave ths place. I feel so bad right now. I don't know if things will get better. Im trying not to loose my cool on this lady. How do I keep her away from me.


Specializes in oncology/hospice/medsurg. Has 7 years experience.

The best thing you can do it document everything you do with your patients. If you don't give a med before your shift is over and give it to the next shift for any reason, document who you gave report to and why you didn't give the med. If the pharmacy takes forever to get you what you need, document who you talked to and long it took. We spend more time covering our butts because of legal issues. As far as this manager goes, go to the next chain of command and if you don't get anywhere, get out of there and go elsewhere.

You need to have higher standards so you can be the best nurse you can and be able to enjoy your job.

Good Luck and don't be afraid to stand up for yourself


Specializes in Peds and Adult Critical Care. Has 20+ years experience.

Know how you feel. . .It is not just new nurses. As my highly educated and humorous friend shared with me, "It just seems like a function of nursing." That is sad. No one really shares the extent to which this "profession" can be cut throat. Of course it is not every nurse that is cut throat--such a notion would be idiotic. But there are games--all kinds of games that are constantly played. It really is a hard field b/c of the nature of what we do + the cut throat aspects. Other fields are cut throat, but they are quite as demanding and life and death--or about maintaining quality of life--as nursing and medicine are. I venture to say many nurses would have bypassed this field if they had known how cut throat it was. If a nurse is up front and straightforward, well, I for one think that is a good thing. The thing is though, others on the "inside" can use that against you.

Just came out of a situation where the culture really wasn't a good "fit" for me. There are elements I will be more careful in looking for in the future. It really is hard though until you are in there a while; for in the beginning there is this whole "honeymoon" phase where just about everyone seems OH so nice and fair and open. It's kind of interesting when that passes though. There are all kinds of games. You just have observe and then weigh the pluses and minuses. Really if there are too many minuses, or if the minuses are few but very important, powerful minuses, it is better to start looking ASAP. It's better for you and your career. I noticed some things about how I could never nail the nm or others down on progressive and consistent monitoring of progress through the orientation process. They are intelligent people, so I sort of doubt it is ignorance as to how to properly educate/orient, give proper feedback, and regularly and consistently evaluate progress through orientation. It could be ignorance and just not having the time to oversee that it is done--but it's a huge mistake. The thing is, there is another closeby unit with educators that don't really know how to intelligently and consistently move people through orientation--using more objective means. Sort of makes me think the institution really doesn't want to do that. Maybe they think they are giving up the power to get rid of someone whose personality they may not like or whatever. I really don't know. It seems like a waste and is rather senseless to me. Basically they told me nursing skills are up to par--but then they made issues about certain relatively benign things I stated with one person or another. I heard one of the committee members planning a committee session at his home. I would not doubt that a person or two of whom, because of my open style, I rubbed the wrong way, decided to dis me there--got the other buds on the committee to go along, and then made issue with the manager. That's how these nursing units and floors, wards, whatever you want to call them, tend to go. And then they convince themselves that it's "all good" in the name of "shared governance." I am sort of worried that all the newer people would have been layed off or pulled all the time anyway. The census is way low. Marked lack of surgeries, etc. Seems like it has become like a long-care unit is some ways.

Look all I can tell you is to be very observant and watch your "p's" and "qu's" every second.

I have learned a huge lesson from my experience, and I harbor no ill against anyone there. From their perspective, they feel that someone that is more independent minded is "troubling." It's a lot about social dynamics, and the lessons I will take with me are well worth any stress. I am happy for the experience. I know how to check my references, and yes it worth the money paying someone else to do--an agency that will not take avoidance as an answer. Pay the money for them to check all your important references--even the marginal ones. It is sad that in the presence of AT-WILL-EMPLOYMENT, often, the organizations end up holding all the cards. This is why more and more hospitals have unions for nurses now. Nurses work hard and have gotten tired of someone else holding all the cards. But regardless of the facility, I say take care to get a reputable reference checking service evaluate your refernces--that and a few other legitimate tricks I use to try to even the playing field.

As far as the last people at the previous employer are concerned, I don't have to totally agree with their perspectives. I take issue with some of their approaches, or lack thereof. But I know that clinically I am still good, that I deeply care for the patients and families and will ever be a nurse advocate, and that I will continue to work on improving soft skills--doing this without having to compromise who I am as person and my values. I don't like BS--never have. I am truly a nice person, but I am very forthright, and sometimes people have issue with that or they read more into it than they should. But remember, many, many times, especially if you are new to an organization, perception is, or at least becomes, reality. If a person or persons make a perception or project it to others, well it fair, right, wrong, or indifferent, the writing may well be on the wall, as they say. Happens to people all the time--especially nurses. Don't let anyone kid you on that.

Things will work out. Hang in there. You will find your niche. Just remember this. No matter what anyone else tells you--other nurse-colleagues, physicians, administrators and other managers--though they may say "The patient comes first." look to see if they are really putting their money where their mouth is. No matter what has happened to me or my various and wonderful experiences in many, many years of nursing, no one will ever take away from me the fact that I prioritize and value the needs of the patient and family first. You'd be surprised how many in nursing and the related fields say it, but don't always really mean it. Now a days, they are looking to see if the nurse is putting the institution first. Ideally it should equate to the same thing as putting the patient and family first, but this is not always so. And it is a shame that some nurses play the game in the hospital's favor, simply b/c they want to keep their jobs. I know people have bills to pay; but as long as fellow nuses compromise--or won't admit they are compromising, our profession's ability to truly help others will be remarkedly limited.

Edited by samadams8

diane227, LPN, RN

Specializes in Management, Emergency, Psych, Med Surg. Has 32 years experience.

Don't file any type of grievance yet. Make a formal appointment to meet with your manager and tell her that you are concerned about this repeated documentation and that you feel as if you are not meeting her expectations. Explain to her that you really want to do a good job and that you need feedback from her about both the positive and negative aspects of your performance. And then see what she says. You will find that she will either back off (which I suspect will occur) or the problem will get worse, in which case you can then take further steps. Either way, after your meeting with her, sent her a letter thanking her for taking time to meet with you. If she has assisted you during the meeting, thank her for her help. The importance of this is to verify in writing that you have met with her. Keep a copy of everything you send her, no matter what it is, especially if it is a complaint or request for something.

If it comes to your having to file a grievance against her, make sure that you inform her in writing. When you contact HR to file the grievance, make sure you call them and also give them a letter of request with a copy to the manager. Tell them that you want a formal review of your employee file. They have to give you access to your file and you have a right to know what it in there. The file is property of the hospital however. Don't keep your manager out of the loop, no matter how upset or angry you are.


I know I'm late with my reply, but your story sounds so much like mine that I had to say that you are not alone. I was going through the exact same thing until recently. It was so bad that I used to get really bad headaches and stomach issues. i was too embarrassed to talk my husband about it. I wanted to quit but most other facilities are on a hiring freeze right now (because of ecomony). She has had so many grievances filed against her but nothing comes of it, so I felt it was pointless to do the same. I wanted to tell our staffing director that it either she goes or I go, but I felt they would quickly show me the door after all, she's an RN and I'm a little LPN right :rolleyes:. I mean this lady has made other nurses and family members cry, and she's still there. She has ignored Dr's orders and did her own thing, and nothing happens to her. She's not a great nurse so I do know why they keep her around. She has a filthy mouth and a nasty attitude to match. But I finally had enough and I told the staffing director that I was ready to quit because of her, but he kind of laughed it off, I calmed down and told him that I wanted to try working a different shift, a shift where I would hardly get to see her. So ever since then I've been working thirds (11p-7a) and I love it now, I actually like going in to work. And more importanly I haven't seen her since that day.

So my point is, hang there, be strong, and things will work out, you'll see.

Good Luck, T. :redpinkhe

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