Dont know if I love or hate my job

luvleigrace · Jan 23, 2013

Hi Knufflebunny, how long have you been working in this job so far? It's normal to feel overwhelm at times when working in a new place. The great thing about your nursing specialty is that you help women with their health issues and help women prepare for their precious gifts-their babies! That's a wonderful place to work. My background is in med/surg/ tele and most of our patients are elderly with lot of co-morbidities, bed-bound isolation precaution patients etc. It's hard work, for sure-physically, mentally, emotionally etc. One way I think is helpful to counteract discontentment for any job or situation, is to be thankful. A lot of new nurses are having a hard time finding a job or have been searching endlessly for months or even till almost a year searching for jobs. Your work environment too is typically an upbeat atmosphere compared to high level stress environments like ICU, ER hospital settings. So I think, having a thankful heart and putting things into perceptive helps. And for me, I'm a Christian, so prayer is powerful-asking God to change my heart. I don't have control in changing the situation, but God can help me change my heart. Everything happens for a reason- good times and trying times- and all is meant to happen to work out for His glory and for our good, because God knows what's best. Last practical advice I can give, is to ask yourself the reasons what makes you overwhelmed with the job and if there is something that you can change to help you lessen your feelings of overwhelming. ( e.g. is it feelings of being unprepared or stress of pleasing others, or feelings of being inadquate in performing the tasks etc) If it's feelings of inadequacy, you can have more proactive approach, but equipping yourself with more knowledge about your specialty. Read and absorb nursing journals on topics related to your work and things that you deal at work. Perhaps you can ask an older, more seasoned nurse that you can trust, and ask to learn from her. Ask her/him questions. Read more on your companies policies and procedures etc. Continue to equip yourself in being more knowledgeable about the task. If you're feeling overwhelmed because feel not pleasing others, then need to step back and take a deep breathe, and just re-think. Most important thing in nursing and healthcare is patient's safety. We're their advocates and want to do what's best for our patients. When working on med/surg floor, prioritizing is key and sometimes to priotize would mean saying no to other task, so that the more urgent and important task can be done. Or sometime priortizing may mean having to call a doctor at a time that is inconvenient for them, but a must for our patient's condition. There's stress to that too in trying to please others, but if you know that you're doing what's best for the patient, and focus on that, compromising your nursing practice to please others diminishes and feelings of being overwhelmed or worried helps goes away. So yeah, I do hope you continue to press on. You're in a great field of nursing, continue to remember to have a thankful heart, and if you believe in God, pray and ask for wisdom in the plans He has for you and your family. God bless and best wishes to you in your nursing career. Feel free to ask if you have anymore follow up questions or if the things I mentioned were something slightly different from your thoughts.

Nurse2b7337 · Jan 23, 2013

Awwww...kufflebunny!! Sorry you're having a tough time. The fact that you moved your family and got the job you wanted let's you know you're in God's will!! It seems as though you're in you have good days and then you have bad days. I've been a member here long enough to know from these nurses that, it's a learning curve you're going through. Hang in there things will get better. In the meantime try to find the positives through out your day. Also, remember there are plenty of nurses who can't find jobs these days. It won't be this way always, keep your head up!!

Sun0408, ASN, RN · Jan 23, 2013

No the feeling will not go away. There will always be a love hate relationship with any job. The good news is, you will get better at time management, gain trust in your skills as you gain experience etc. One day something will happen and it will click in your head that 1. you can do this and 2. you enjoy it.. Of course you will still have days that start off crazy and end crazy but you will be able to handle it better with fewer questions or help/back up from the more senior nurses on the floor..

Hang in there, being a new grad sucks :) It does get better !!!

Fyreflie · Jan 24, 2013

Stick it out!! It took me at least a year to stop calling the unit after most shifts having forgotten something "crucial" in report/omg did I put the pit mu in ml, what did I miss? I had nightmares about multips coming in fully and not being able to focus/chart/coach/cope.

Somewhere around the year mark I realized that I wasn't bringing it home nearly as much. By the two year mark I could actually sleep like a baby before all my shifts. Now I go to work with a smile on my face and I cannot tell you how many of my friends envy the fact that I do what I love every single day. But yeah. The first year sucked. You have to tough it out and sponge up as much learning as you can and ask for help when you need it and double check EVERYthing for the safety of your patients and your own sanity.

knufflebunny · Jan 24, 2013

Thank you all for the encouragement! A lot of my anxiety has to do with my low self confidence, lack of knowledge, feeling stupid at times, and overall feelings of being overwhelmed. I guess all the stuff that will go away as I gain more experience.

I'm also paranoid I'll get an emergency and freeze up. The other day we had a primary C/S hemorrhage. I am sooo glad I was not on that day. Not that I don't want to help this poor woman or learn from the experience. I totally wouldn't have known what to do!!

I am so scared I will never learn enough to be a good nurse. I gotta stop with this negative self talk!!

Fyreflie · Jan 24, 2013

Everyone feels that way at the beginning. I still have days where I hear about a bad case and think "oh I'm so glad I wasn't here!" And the only crazy emergency I've been directly involved in was a bilateral PE during a section and I was scrubbed in. I thanked my lucky stars that I wasn't circulating but afterwards I thought "wow, I better keep doing the OR checklists so that I can put my hands on ANYthing in an emergency.

Things you can do to make yourself more confident:

When it's slow, check equipment. If its really slow, volunteer to check every single room--mom equipment such as O2 and suction and your baby warmers. When you check your baby mask do at least a minute of PPV practice (timing breaths and counting out loud).

Volunteer to check the ORs--know where everything is for emergencies--extra bags, tubing, rapid volume infusers etc. On my unit when it's really slow we take out our rapid volume infuser and take turns setting it up. We also regularly take out our hyst and PPH kits and go through them just to put our hands on everything. Know where your difficult intubation stuff is. Practice a quick run to blood bank and lab. Know what routes are quickest to the OR and what obstacles to expect (are your hallways clear, especially at corners?). My old unit used to sometimes need to move stat cases downstairs to the main OR, if your unit ever does that, run the route and know which doors, which directions they open etc.

In short, drill whenever you can. You wouldn't believe how it helps with confidence :)

knufflebunny · Jan 24, 2013

Thank you so much for the tip!! That will help me tremendously! The emergency situations are the ones that freak me out the most. I don't know where everything is yet so stocking and getting my hands in everything is a great idea! Drills will also help out a lot because it is semi hands on (fake situation vs real situation). But better to act it out than not practice at all. Thank you!!!

Calinurse4 · Jan 30, 2014

Knufflebunny, how is it going now for you? I am a new grad in L&D and will soon be off orientation and I'm terrified. I've ended up with three vacuum deliveries in the last week and they have all been so stressful!! I feel so clumsy and slow and although I am sure I will love this job, I hate being a NEW nurse I am just trying to stay positive, take everything as a learning experience, and count the days until the dreaded first year is over!

knufflebunny · Jan 31, 2014

Calinurse 4 - I can't believe time has past so fast, I wrote that post a year ago! I am now 1 year and 3 months into my job and..... I am starting to love it!!! I can't believe I am saying this! I was SO freaked out for over 6 months! My anxiety and stress level was almost unmanageable...but I just kept chugging on, knowing that most new grad nurses feel like this and the stress level WILL eventually go away. I can now say that the stress HAS gone down. In L&D, you are going to be doing the same thing over and over and over again. Granted, EVERY delivery and situation is different, but, essentially you are providing the same level of care to the patients. You are going to run Pit after every delivery (unless pt refuses), you are going to do fundal massages after every delivery, you are going to prep pt's the same way for every C/S, etc. After you learn all the basics, it does get easier. I still worry about OB emergencies, but I know my experienced nurses are there to back me up! And with any scary situation, you learn from it, and the next time it comes, you will know how to react. After my anxiety level went down, and started understanding what a good labor nurse does, I now find my job SO rewarding. I love it when I work my butt off to get a pt to dilate (after being stalled for hours) and save her from a C/S or being able to calm a pt down from so much pain and have her concentrate on pushing. The cards, thank you's, and hugs make it so worth it!! I love being there for my pt's and being their advocates. I NEVER thought this day would come. I wanted to quit everyday...but I'm not a quitter. And I'm so thankful that I didn't. I was TOTALLY where you are at now so I know what you are going through. Just hang in there and I promise it will get better!

Calinurse4 · Jan 31, 2014

Thank you!! That's exactly what I hoped to hear. Maybe this time next year I will be passing the same advice on to another new L&D nurse :)

shannarini71 · Mar 3, 2014

I'm right there with you, Calinurse! I started as a new grad in L&D in January and am not on my own yet but am anxious and uptight every day on shift and always feel like I am forgetting something, feeling clumsy and slow, and overwhelmed! I am hoping that in time we will both feel as confident and relaxed as Knufflebunny.