Don't Give Away All of Your Apples

Jessica DeLong

As a child, my favorite book was "The Giving Tree" by Shel Silverstein, a story about a tree and a boy. I was touched by the relationship that the tree and the boy had. I admired the tree’s generosity as she selflessly gave the boy everything so that he would be happy and would have the life that he wanted. She gave him her apples, branches, and even her trunk, until all that remained was her stump.

When I was a child, the tree reminded me of my mother who is kind, generous and selfless, which are all qualities that I admired and wished for myself. Reflecting on the story today, the tree reminds me of nurses, including myself and those I have known and worked with. Nurses are a special type of person. We are hardworking, knowledgeable, compassionate, and empathetic, which make us natural caregivers and perfect for our nursing roles. On the other hand, we can be generous and selfless to an extreme, which can come at a cost to us.

It is no secret that nursing is a demanding job physically, mentally, and emotionally. Many nurses struggle to meet the increasing demands of their job, especially since the COVID19 pandemic. It is easy to see the toll taken on nurses and other healthcare workers, many of whom appear to be unhealthy, overweight, and out of shape. Regrettably, it is not unusual for nurses to share the same unfavorable diagnoses as the people they provide care for.

While working as a Med-Surg nurse, I’d occasionally have patients who were also my co-workers and fellow nurses, who were admitted to the hospital due to stress-related issues. I remember feeling saddened by this and I wished that each of these wonderful and special nurses had taken better care of themselves and were not in the predicament that they were in. At the time, I did not have any helpful advice to give them, and I am not sure that they knew how to help themselves.

Like so many health care workers during the pandemic, nurses have had the burden of added stress and responsibilities at work and/or at home. Further, we have had insufficient outlets for relieving stress and minimal opportunities to lessen our load of responsibility, which has taken a toll on many of our lives.

Recently, I was diagnosed with a rare autoimmune disease. Although the cause of my disease is unknown, stress is a contributing factor. Even though I am a person who exercises daily and eats healthy, I often run on empty while trying to meet the endless demands of everyday life. I frequently fail to manage my stress, get enough sleep, and ask for help when I need it. My diagnosis was a shock; however, it was also a gift because it gave me an opportunity to stop and examine the unhealthy practices that were causing harm to my body.

Nurses are aware of the implications of disease, and we frequently see in our patients the consequences of poor health practices and the limits that having poor health imposes on the quality and extension of life. Often, we advise our patients on ways to improve their health and strategies to stop unhealthy practices and lower stress, but we are unable to do the same for ourselves.

If I could go back in time and talk with my fellow nurses, especially those who became my patients, I would ask them to take the time to examine their own lives and uncover the unhealthy practices which are negatively contributing to their health. Then, I would ask them to follow the same advice to improve the health that they give to their patients.

Although the concept of examining oneself, identifying the problems, and then acting seems simple, for those of us who are like the giving tree: generous, selfless, and accustomed to caring for others, it can be difficult for us to do what is required. I still admire the generosity and selflessness of the giving tree and, to be fully transparent, the boy also brought the tree happiness and joy.

The book remains a favorite story in our family. However, through the experience of my recent health issues, I have concluded that it is important to be generous to oneself in providing self-care, and “Don’t give away all of your apples.” Instead, we must take the time to examine ourselves, take control of our health, provide sufficient self-care, and balance our generosity to ourselves and to others so that we do not deplete our resources and can continue to have a life of wellness and continue to be effective caregivers to our patients.

Don't Give Away All of Your Apples

About Jessica DeLong

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