Does nursing school make you an angry person?

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I understand school is STRESSFUL - mental bootcamp and I've been in stressful situations with stressful people but I can honestly say I'm not stressed. Maybe I'm going through some weird transformation within myself but I absolutely have no tolerance for anything negative or "running around the bush" in any way. It's crazy because I'm normally such a happy, easygoing person who's always smiling. I am an intuitive person & since I really started listening to myself and body, I've had no regrets and my heart has been a bit more calm/peaceful. I am someone sensitive to energy so I'm guessing this is all me feeling my classmates' stress? I'm not depressed, I sleep okay, I started working out again (because for a few minutes, I forgot about taking care of myself). Things have been happening to me that have really made me question why I do or say certain things lately. I finally broke down last week because of all this escalated "drama":

- most of my classmates are international students; I've been respectful to them as I've been respectful to anyone - international or US citizens. One classmate made a comment in front of a patient "joking" saying, "oh poor you, you're the only one not born in another country." And she had to justify to why I'm of "culture" but born here? Didn't know how to handle that on the spot...tried to forget it but it bothered me.

- another classmate (while carpooling) kept saying I didn't count as an American (even though born here) because I wasn't white...again, didn't know how to respond on the spot but just said, "oh really? I don't count? why is that?"

- A classmate (who I've had a bad feeling about since day 1) has been trying to get in my good graces. I'm respectful/neutral to everyone and honestly, no one's really had time to socialize. In the past month, she confronted me 3x with, "are you mad at me? because I feel different with you." I'm tired to reassuring this insecure person. She did something to me that went over boundaries but since the problem was solved, it died then and there but in her mind, it's still alive. I finally told her if she didn't stop, I would be angry. I re-assessed my behavior/words and if anything, she's been the one avoiding me, eye contact. I've been saying "hello" to her first. My body didn't like that she tried to put the blame and her shame/guilt on me, when she was clearly in the wrong.

- A classmate (who's been my close study buddy, like a brother) opened up and expressed something out of line to me... and he's married. I handled it in the dorkiest way saying straight "no, he's my brother" and "let's prep for lab/clinical." He's been respectful since but I don't know, the energy I feel around him.... is weird.

- 2 of the those same international students tried to manipulate me to NOT observe a heart surgery during clinical because they held it against me that I got to volunteer at a hospital. That was not fair. I don't like when people manipulate me and believe me, I did not back down

- Those 2 same people designated me to bring food (for people working at our facility site. End of clinical rotation). I had already volunteered for something else but for them to just "you're bringing food. Yeah, do it when you're finished at the hospital at midnight." I responded naturally by being defensive with, "no, there's no way. I don't have time." I look back and think of what an angry person I may have come off (as they tried to play me off as a moody b*tch) but that was me being protective of myself.

- Even during hospital clinical - I plan out my shift. I managed to report to the nurse, do vitals, give meds, chart, do patient teaching, help other nurses (1-1 feeding) AND my classmates' patients and i was STILL able to finish my charting YET they give me guilt trip about the computer, "oh I have a new patient. give me the computer." "oh i have vitals, I need to chart." I let the girl have it once to chart vitals, she ended up being on the computer for 20 minutes w her own work.

I'm honest to God sick of people and I don't know if it's because of school, people, life... again, I don't want to say I'm stressed bc my body has felt worse in previous quarters. I feel so fed up. I'm really not an angry b*tch, I just started standing up for myself and I guess I'm feeling everyone's reaction towards it...

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Stress is a beast of many faces. I do feel you are mentally burned out even if you do not feel physically tired. There's a reserve tank in all of us that allows us to smile politely, say the right niceties and be tolerant of people we don't really like. Sounds like yours is close to empty.

And that's OK. As you said, nursing school is tough. It may be a point of pride for you to say that you're not stressed but what's the benefit in it? Nothing that I can see. Even if you are not fully convinced, maybe open your mind, embrace the possibility that you are stressed and take action.

Even if you are not stressed, who in your shoes doesn't want a day with no nursing stuff, a nice bubble bath, a relaxing movie night or dinner with friends you haven't seen in a while? It's all good. Do it.

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Paraphrase of Dr. Phil

"People wouldn't care about what other people thought of them if they realized how LITTLE they did"

Maybe it's not about you????

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