Do you kill em' with kindness?

[BlondieNH]

My mom used to say "kill em' with kindness." I've also heard it's better to "give em' honey than vinegar." I'm dealing with a very imbalanced nurse manager who I can only best describe as acting like "Percy," from "The Green Mile," which aired last evening and I watched for the umpteenth time. It really hit me like a ton of bricks the evil I'm working for, seeing to it that she makes the big salary and I get discarded like a used tampon. Sorry to be so discriptive, but I can't get out of this working arrangement right now. I've prayed about it and even gone to church and lit candles. I've tried to turn the other cheek. You name it. When I see her in the morning, out of respect, I always say "good morning." Sometimes she'll reply, sometimes she won't. She never says "hello," first. If I'm particularly short on time or tired and I don't make extra time to wear make-up or do my hair fancy,then she'll treat me like white trailer trash and ignore me. Having my face and hair done or not done, does not get in the way of me getting my job done. She's very superficial and loves those who have their noses up her A**. I am having a hard time being at her level of superficiality and am wondering if there are others out their like me who suffer being punished every day at work, walking, "the green mile." It gets so bad sometimes, I can't shut it off when I'm out the door and on my free time going about my own business and on my days off. I'm just wondering if others are having luck with killing them with kindness, but not brown nosing the boss? I've cried buckets of tears of frustration, but that doesn't help any. Here follows just about the only thing I have that helps me to stay sain and unscathed at the end of the day:

Law of the Garbage Truck

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were

driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a

parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his

brakes, skidded and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of

the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi

driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really

friendly. So I asked, "why did you just do that?" This guy almost ruined

your car and sent us to the hospital! This is when my taxi driver

taught me what I now call, "The Law of the Garbage Truck."

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around

full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger and full of disappointment.

As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes

they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them

well and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people

at work, at home or on the streets. The bottom line is that successful people

do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up

in the morning with regrets, so...Love the people who treat you right.

Forgive the ones who don't.

Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it.

Have a wonderful garbage-free day!

Sometimes this is easier said than done, when being dumped on all the time. I'd appreciate hearing some feedback on this.

Thanks in advance

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

I don't kill anyone with kindness, primarily because I have a difficult time being nice to someone who is treating me with meanness. You get what you give. If you give me an evil attitude and rude stares, I'm not going to give my niceness in return.

I simply refuse to acknowledge people like your manager. I have found that these types of people are secretly puzzled when someone doesn't acknowledge their presence, even though they might not show it openly. I don't go out of my way to say "Good morning," and I won't speak to a meanie unless they go out of their way to initiate the contact.