Did I pick the wrong career?

SoundofMusic · Apr 5, 2010

I've felt the same way you do now, many times. I would regularly scour the want ads after work, just dreaming that I could get out of nursing and back into something more normal. I mean -- most jobs are a cakewalk compared to the most basic nursing job.

I've also had bosses who were hard on me, and I hated it. I still hate them, and I do everything I can just to not work on the days they work. So far that strategy is working well. I just dont' work when they work.

All I can say is hang in there and find ways to relieve your stress when your'e not at work. As time passes and you pick up more experience, they won't ride you as often. Ask questions a lot -- make it clear to them your'e eager to learn, that your'e doing your best. Seek out people who are kind, who are good teachers. Avoid the ones who aren't. Confide in a trusted co-worker or two and use them as a support system.

After a year or two, you'll have a bit more confidence and autonomy and the bosses will be onto their next victim. :uhoh3:

It's a sad fact that nurses are treated horribly in many cases. I don't know why other women, particularly, do this to other women. They are all just monsters, IMO.

I've survived my nasty bosses, though, and am in grad school now and only working 2 days a week for these people. Due to their meanness and ill treatment, I was motivated to apply to grad school -- I suppose I have them to thank! :uhoh3: But it's their problem now as they have to scout around and find a nurse to replace me at some point. Poor managers -- don't know why they just don't learn that nurses are intelligent people who CAN find other employment at some point. We do not have to and usually DON'T stay in bedside nursing for this reason.

They say that 54% of new nurses leave the bedside due to MANAGEMENT. Managers -- anyone listening?? :rolleyes:

You might also just want to leave and continue to search for a place that will treat you nicely. They are out there -- I think. Though I'm not sure. Nursing is pretty tough all over.

Ahhphoey · Apr 5, 2010

It kinda sounds like your frustration is with you current working conditions and your supervisors. I know you mentioned feeling incompetent, but may have just been unfortunate enough to happen upon two toxic work environments. Nursing is by no means an easy career field (as I'm sure you already know), but the people you work with and who precept you during formative first few months to years can make a huge impact on your success and practice throughout your career. I don't know what it is that your supervisors do to make you so uncomfortable, but is it possible to try to form a better relationship with them. You also don't mention the working conditions beyond your supervisors; do you enjoy your work outside of your negative coworkers?

Try to really evaluate your career and decide if you really enjoy the work. Also, a change of environment may help. If your really not happy, look for another job. In the meantime, though, your still going to have to make the best of your current situation; try to work with these supervisors, if possible, or have a talk with them about your concerns so that at least your time left there is not as stressful. I would definitely continue to look for another job in other areas if you are so unhappy where you are. Good luck!:)

Nursing12345 · Apr 5, 2010

You are not working where you want to work. Keep trying to find the job in the area you want. You're already an RN, you're almost there. In the mean time do your best at LTC, for the folks in your hands, not for supervisors.

monlee · Apr 5, 2010

UGH! I despise managers that mistreat their staff nurses...did they forget they too were once a new grad and trying to get a hold of things! This is horizontal violence in the works, and to think these "leaders" would've SHOULD've taken leadership courses...clearly the ones that are mean were NOT paying attention. You know what, perhaps the manager has personal problems and incompetencies that she/he is bitter about and takes it out on the newbies...pitty them...and in the mean time find a new area of nursing to work in. Best of luck to you! I understand how you feel.

Halinja, BSN, RN · Apr 5, 2010

Ask yourself if there are any aspects of the job you like. If the people who are criticizing you were not there, if you were on your own, do you like anything about the work? The patients? Also, if you can get through the first two years, your options expand. There are other places, other supervisors, some of which actually have a clue. And sometimes its just the wrong spot altogether. My first job out of school was L&D. I would cry on my way to work, and on my way home. Switched out to a different job and loved it, but what amazed me was the lack of upset stomach! Of course...then I gained 20 pounds. LOL

Zookeeper3 · Apr 5, 2010

be honest with yourself... if you have people breathing down your neck and you constantly fall short.... no matter how great a job you've done... you feel empty. This results in hating your job, no duh!

While we can't demand the people that supervise us to have the skills in interpersonal relations... you can set boundaries.... the fight would be worth it if you loved long term care and the clients... but you were forced into that as well do to hiring issues and economic demands.

I could preach what to do with these horses orifices, but it doesn't matter, you've made it clear it's not where you want to be... so it's not a CAREER issue, but one of finding your home.

Look, when I graduated back in '95 i had to work a year of geriatric psyc... and had my butt literally kicked by 80 yr old women. I had to pay the bills. I hated it enough to literally stalk hospitals who were hiring.

Took a job in a long term vent unit that was progressive and did drips... it was the most toxic environment I've ever been in... the people to orient me were the one's being displaced to a "cleaning house... union"... so i was left to fail, on fire driving the bus to hell soaked in gasoline... smoking a cigarette.

I would have spent the rest of my life there because of the union. but after a year of hell experience... learned by self, and the very wrong hard way.... my wonderful husband agreed to move out of state so i could persue my ICU dream.

and YEP, an ICU hired me, trained me competently and with love and compassion and support...... I FOUND MY HOME.... I've been here since 1997...... the politics, management, upper management suck at times... but my peers are my family... I enjoy going to work... we all do everything outside of work together... and we teach the noobs how to grow in this environment.... it's never nurse against nurse....we all drop everything for each other in need inside the hospital and out.

While you may never want or flourish in an ICU.... you will find your HOME.... but your must get experience, unfortunately go through these things... aggressively work hard to move up to what you want to do.

No one will hand it to you... and I'm not suggesting you think that... but saying that it CAN be yours with real good planning and sticking around through some bad. But you always must be working on bailing out and moving to the direction you want. When you know what that is.... I hope you jump in and do it.

Trust me...there is more to nursing then where you are... hit the pavement and start applying, and know you'll make some wrong choices... but they affirm the good ones when you finally find them. Your experience meanwhile and a good reference is your priority, keep that in check ..... and NEVER ever burn a bridge...

I wish you luck and happiness... I know you'll find it

blackpants22 · Apr 5, 2010

I appreciate everyone's advice and support. I am going to continue to apply and pray that I do find a "home." However, I don't know how much more I can put up with this place, so if need be I will quit and and learn to live on a tight budget for the time being. My sanity and emotional well being are more important to me. Thanks again.

carlanocnurse · Apr 5, 2010

There's an old saying that 'nurse's eat their young.' I heard it as a new grad 30 years ago, and unfortunately it's still often true. Do try to find another job, but in the meantime, a few suggestions: living well is the best revenge, find something about your current job that you like. Make it a better work environment by your being there, smile at people, greet them, get to know them. When supervisors, or anyone else are being mean to you, it isn't about you. Most of the time it's about something going on with them.

Be proactive. Look for problems you can solve, suggestions you can offer, ideas you can share. If you do make a mistake, correct it and go on. . Don't give up on nursing. Your license is a learner's permit, not a master's certificate. Every job is hard at the beginning. If we all gave up every time we wanted to, we'd all be newbies!