I am a 43 year old woman who is the sole caretaker of my eighty year old parents. My mother has Alzheimers and my father has degenerative disc disease in his lower back, hips and knees. He is blind in one eye and VERY hard of hearing. Both are incontinent. I have Crohn's disease and after three surgeries, have yet to go into remission. My mother has taken up a habit of wrapping her feces in toilet paper and hiding it throughout the house. She doesn't like to throw anything away. She also hides raw food in drawers. I moved back home to care for them full time over two years ago. My husband divorced me because of this decision. I have two sisters and a brother who live in the area, but aren't interested in helping out. I have spent every dime of my life savings and am now living off my credit cards. This isn't about money. I went to Medicaid to find help. They said my parent's "earned" too much money because of their social security checks. I went through social services and they said because my parent's home is on two acres of land, they can not help be cause they have a "rule" about property ownership. I tried talking to adult daycare facilities in the area, but because my mother is incontinent and won't continually wear diapers, they can not watch her. She is having severe control issues. Which is understandable. She fights me on EVERYTHING. I try and bathe her and she physically strikes out. I try and dress her and she takes the clothes off as soon as I have her dressed. I prepare a well balanced dinner for the both of them, and my mother will throw it on the floor and demand a peanut butter sandwich. I give her a peanut butter sandwich and she demands something else. She keeps telling me, "You're not the boss of me!".
My sister came over last Christmas for an hour and my mother behaved like a saint allowing my sister to help her in anyway she wanted. This causes my siblings to think I am out of my mind when it comes to needing help. If I could get someone in here to bathe her, wash and dry her hair, brush her teeth and dress her each morning would be like a new lease on life for me. I am going to have a yard sale and sell everything I own to raise money to get help for her. My question is, is there a
specific type of nurse I should be looking for? Is there anyone who offers this type of service? It is mentally and physically exhausting to go through this every single morning. Please, if anyone has any suggestions, I am open to them all. Thank you for your time.
