Coping with loss

You just do. Honestly, it's been years since I cried when one of my patients died. In my line of work, their deaths are rarely unexpected and are often a relief. When you see a child go from a completely normal and happy 3rd grader to being bedbound, quadriplegic, blind, non-verbal, incontinent and you know this child has NO quality of life and no chance of recovery, death doesn't always seem like the worst outcome. Several of my kids are getting close to the end- at least 4 of them. I am not hoping for a miracle for them. I am hoping for comfortable deaths.

See these threads: https://allnurses.com/pediatric-nursing/when-chronic-kids-686624.html

https://allnurses.com/pediatric-nursing/when-children-die-814119.html

There are many things that are worse than living. Yes, it's always sad because a family is losing a loved one but sometimes death is a blessing as well. I am forever grateful to the nurse on duty in the PICU when my son died as well as all the PDN nurses that spent the day with us and checked on us in ensuing days.

Ok, so one of the 4 that I was referring to in my last post died today. And you know what her parents said when they shared the news of her death? They said "at x time, our daughter was declared forever cancer free." Earlier, when they were asking for prayers they were not asking for people to pray for a miracle but for their child's suffering to end, for her to realize that it was ok to go. This child was suffering on this earth and she was never going to get well. She is now free of the burdens of her disease which robbed her of so much during her earthly life. There was no miracle to be had in this case. And while her family is sad that they have to carry on without her, they can still be proud of her and happy for her that she has moved on and is cancer/pain free.