Confused about going on....

[freesia29, ASN, RN]

I am a 46 yr old LPN with 5 years experience. My original plan was always to get BSN or even ARNP when I started my prerequisites a decade ago.

Now I am not so sure. I have recently been diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis, fibromyalgia and osteoarthritis. I am exhausted, in pain most days, kids are 16 and 12 and aging parents wanting me to help them more.

I feel so torn. I want to work in Hospital with babies. I thought about even becoming a midwife.

I am so close to RN, 1/2 way there.....but the thought of school, studying and clinicals makes me want to throw up because I am so exhausted.

Should i I just put on my big girl pants and push ahead, or accept that maybe it's not just in the cards for me right now.

i feel so torn over this. I keep hoping for the peace of a decision either way, but is just not there.

Everytime I think I have made peace with not going back, another doctor or nurse comments to me, that I am just too smart to stay an LPN.

Any advice, opinions are appreciated. :)

[Scottishtape]

There's a lot to consider just from what you posted.

1. You say you're constantly in pain and physically (and it seems emotionally) exhausted. If this is the case, I'd think really hard about the physical and mental requirements of a bridge program. I was an LPN for 11 years before I started my bridge program, and I'm not gonna lie - it almost broke me emotionally. Not all programs are like that, and not all people have the same reaction, but if you're already struggling that much, I'd be worried about adding on the pressures of nursing school.

That said, you could always work with your doctors to find a regimen that works well for your pain, that would allow you to take on more, and be ok.

2. RE: comments that you're "too smart" to stay an LPN. That's offensive. There are so many incredibly smart LPNs who CHOOSE to stay LPNs because they're happy in that role. Being an LPN does NOT make someone less smart than an RN counterpart. After having been both, I can fully attest to that. Reasons to contiue your education should come from inside YOU, not ignorant comments made by random people around you.

3. You want to work in a hospital with babies. You still can in many places as an LPN. Some hospitals are more restrictive than others. If the hospitals in your area are restrictive, you can always consider pediatric home health. LPNs flourish in that setting, it would be slower paced for you and your physical restraints, and it would allow you to create your own schedules so you can help our your parents and be with your kids more.

In the end, it's YOUR decision. None of us, nor any of your family, friends, or coworkers can tell you what is best. You have be happy and at peace with where you are in life, or you'll always be in this same predicament.

It does sound to me that pediatric home health would fit the majority of your desires.

I wish you luck!

[freesia29, ASN, RN]

Thanks for your reply! I keep trying to talk myself out of it, but everytime I have a good day, and feel better, that nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach starts screaming go back”! I work in an urgent care clinic, across the street from the hospital.....the other night I was working in the lab, we are short on phlebotomists......and I prayed about being shown an answer......next patient comes in and needs a stat lab, which means I have to bring it over to Hospital lab for processing. I laugh...ok... I am at the hospital (where I love being)......still thinking to myself, nice coincidence. Then as I decided to grab a drink in the cafeteria .......I am surrounded by LPN to Rn students in my schools scrubs. Lol! Is that a loud and clear answer from the great Divine....or a funny coincidence? Lol! Anyway it made me laugh out loud.