Confused and doubting self

[NG 101]

HI I am a new graduate nurse orienting for two months now. I am stressed because I can not come to reality with my feelings. Every day in work is I continue to struggle even to the easy patients. I can't get over my nervousness and feeling eventhough I try to communicate with my preceptor I still feel not comfortable. She is a strong and great nurse but I feel that I dont have a connection with her. I came to this realization when I shadowed on another floor. At first I thought it was just me and my learning curve, but I had this person that was wonderful. I felt happy and the end of the day not over whelmed and stressed out. The person made me learn by asking me questions and pushing me to understand but being patient. I enjoyed it so much I stayed each hours. When I went back on my floor I did not get that same feeling with my preceptor even tho she was great. Then when I see other people that are orienting with me not struggle I think to myself maybe its me and maybe this is something I should not be doing. I am confused with what I want. I try to study and prepare for work but when it the day before work I start having anxiety and stress thinking about what I can do to improve myself so I can have a smooth clinical day. I feel alone on the floor when I make mistakes and feel that the other staff shy away from me eventho they help me when I ask. I also feel that my preceptor talks to other nurses and get easily frustrated with me. I came close to making a few medical errors due to not reading correclty or misunderstanding the order. Although I have double check with the computer and my preceptor everytime because the fear of making an error. I am just confused and dont know what will be the consequences if I dont make it through orientation or maybe this is not for me and I should quit before this happens. Mostly I cant get over the guilt of not performing 100 percent to my patients. I feel confused....

[NoblePath]

I'm 6 months out of orientation and my preceptor was explaining currently orienting a new grad who seems to be in a very similar situation that you are in. My former preceptor has complained to me about her a few times and to other nurses and told me I was the easiest nurse she ever oriented. I explained to her that maybe their personalities didn't match and she agreed. The orientee did ask for a new preceptor and it was understood that their personalities/work styles didn't match. You only get one orientation, I don't think it would hurt to ask for another preceptor.