Comments by Coworkers

[pppp87]

Hey all. I'm ending my 3rd week in oriention on a med surg floor. Things are going okay, definitely not perfect but I'm learning. My coworkers have made some comments to me that concern me.

The first was from another nurse that precepted me on my first day on the floor. I was scared as hell. I've been out of school for a year, did some home health for a few months and this my first acute care experience. I'm a shy person and get anxious sometimes (looking into counseling next week). Anywho, as much as I try to fake it, I don't come across very confident and I know it. Anyway, the nurse ended the day telling me that I did a good job and he told me to keep coming back.

So a week later, and I'm working with my assigned preceptor. I'm standing by our computer doing chartiing and the guy says (very loudly) "Do you know what you're doing? Do you REALLY know what you're doing? Do you even care?" The 4 or so staff members turn and look at me. At first I thought he was joking (he's pretty sarcastic), and I was getting a joke ready for his 1st question, until he hit me with the 2nd two. I was speechless, caught off guard, didn't know what to say. I couldn't even make eye contact with the guy I was so embarrased.

The second comment came today from one of the nurse tech's. We had a patient who's been on the floor for about 3 weeks. Everyone knows she is notoriously needy and is on the call light every 30 min complaining about something. This tech even complained about the patient earlier. The tech comes up to me and says "Room 42 is asking for her nurse; she says if she doesn't get her dressing changed in 5 min she's calling the nurse manager." Me and my preceptor laugh it off. I go get the stinger so I can pass some of these woman's meds while I'm there. I'm visibly upset because we've done 110% for this woman and it still hasn't been enough. The tech walks by, looks at me and says "PPP87, you sure you still want to be a nurse?" I thought she was joking, so I said "Riiiiiight?".

But apparently she was dead serious and walked away. I was able to calmly explain to my patient that we wouldn't be able to get to her dressing on day shift and handle the problem (ie I didn't let her see me upset). It seems like my coworker saw my smug look and assumed I would go in with the same nasty look on my face. But a lot of the patients complain that are tech's are nasty to them (I've seen some of it). The techs', nurses and even my preceptors don't always LIKE the patients when they're talking about them at the nurse station... so why is it a big deal that I'm not visibly happy about going into my patients room for the 700th time that hour?

I have a lot of insecurities as a new nurse, but I'm wondering what kind of vibe I must be giving off to my coworkers that makes them question if I even want to be here? I want to be a great med surg nurse... but every day on the job I"M scared as HELL!!! Being a shy person doesn't help. I don't understand how I come off as not caring or uninterested in being there.

[bayareastudent0711]

room 42 is needy cuz she's in the hospital and wants attention. she's scared and out of her comfort zone. i know it sucks that it feels like whatever u do isn't helping. but by u going in the room she knows u still care and want her to get better

and the lack of confidence probably looks like the face of dread, the i don't want to be here face to your coworkers.

being shy probably comes off as not wanting to interact or deal with ur patients more than required.

just talk to ur preceptor. ask for tips to get over ur shyness so patients feel that they can talk to you. thats what ur preceptor is there for =)

and how he gained his confidence and how long it took him?

these questions tell him. you really want to be there, that you are just shy and lack of confidence, rather than the opposite. and you two bond so when you're done precepting, he will still be willing to help you out. =)

good luck!

do small things for your coworkers, bring cookies or cake for the unit, as a way to get to know them or something. or even a gigantic costco bag of M&Ms =)

[rn/writer, RN]

You may be taking things too personally. The counseling is a good idea. They can give you ideas about how to build your confidence and not focus over-much on other people's comments.

"Do you know what you're doing? Do you REALLY know what you're doing? Do you even care?"

Maybe you had a flat affect that appeared uninterested. Maybe your shyness comes off more like aloofness. Who knows? If this happens again, resist the urge to get all embarrassed and flustered and say, "Why would you ask something like that?" If you see it as a learning opportunity rather than an indictment, you might find out information that would be helpful.

I'm visibly upset because we've done 110% for this woman and it still hasn't been enough. The tech walks by, looks at me and says "PPP87, you sure you still want to be a nurse?"

Two observations here. There will always be that one (you're lucky if it's only one) patient that is never done ringing their call bell and asking for things. That's life.

As for the tech's question, I'm guessing she was more-or-less asking you a rhetorical question, one that serves as a comment rather than a true inquiry. Like saying, "Are you sure you wanted to sign up for this?" or telling a newbie to run for the hills while they still can. People do this all the time. It doesn't have to mean she was accusing you of not wanting to be there. It may well be that you added the personal dimension to her words.

But apparently she was dead serious and walked away. It seems like my coworker saw my smug look and assumed I would go in with the same nasty look on my face.

Wouldn't she also have walked away if she was joking? Did you have a smug or nasty look on your face? If you did, she might have meant something like, "See, it's not all fun and games."

The fact that you are easily embarrassed and tend to personalize your co-workers comments in a negative way makes you much more vulnerable than if you were able to let some of this stuff roll off your back. Even if they are saying bad things, so what? Their opinions aren't the gospel.

If your employer has an Employee Assistance Program, that would be a good place to find counseling (usually free or at a nominal cost). They can help you build your confidence and learn how to stop letting other people's negative opinions (real or imagined) color your thoughts and leave you discouraged. They can also help you to become more assertive and feel stronger and more capable.

It's important for you to learn how to find a comfort level in your own spirit and stop letting other people determine how you feel.

I wish you the best.