Clinicals and doubt

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First off I have been working toward this goal of nursing for the past five years. I was accepted into a great university in Southern California. I was so excited, I thrived in my studies for the past six months receiving A's and B's in my classes. I was nervous in the beginning with the math med test of 100%, which I achieved and this only gave me more confidence as now I was headed to clinical. The first day we were thrown onto the floor and by the second day I was jaded..seeing the despair, the sicknes I never imagined it would effect me so deeply. I had a patient who broke my heart. I had to go into the bathroom several times that day just to cry.. I felt 2 feet tall as all of my classmates walked around as if nothing could stop them..and our clinical instructor yelled at us like a wild woman on the war path..it was bizarre. I was broken and broken for days after. My instructor abused us all day long, berating all of us all day long, and focused her agression on me in personal areas. (I willl spare you the details however I was appauled) I was digusted by her interaction with us and I was disgusted by the nurses at this hospital. They were vicious, back-stabbing and I was appauled once again. They talked behind each others backs, rolled their eyes as fellow nurses walked by, spoke ill of some of the students there..It was horrid.

I sent an email to the director explaining the instructor's behavior and my horrific day, nothing was done, so I withdrew from the classes. I wanted something to be done about this abuse and the only thing offered to me was go back and deal with it. So I have dropped all of my courses, took a leave of absence until next semester and I am questioning the entire nursing career path I have chosen. Im jaded, hurt and confused. Is this really how the profession is?? Do these fears go away, the sadness, the taking home the patients?????? Have I totally wasted years working toward this path and now????

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Specializes in Pediatrics.

Wow, you have a lot of different emotions going on right now.

Before I reply further, may i just clarify: You went to only 2 clinical days?

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Specializes in Telemetry.

Muse12,

Not all schools are like this, however, you have to have thick skin to go through nursing college. Rule1: Do not entertain the petty talk with your clinical professor. Be professional at all times. Address her properly and when you are given a patient go to the room with confidence. This is what works for me and I am almost there, just one more course to go.

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goodnursingstudent,

Thank you so much for your reply. I was professional for the 2 days I was there. I will take into consideration your thoughts should I return.

Good luck and good job!

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