Clinical makes me want to quit

[hopefulmidwife1]

I had my first day of clinicals this week (ever). I have basically been crying ever since. I saw a stage 4 pressure injury (that I had to irrigate and dress). Plus loooots of incontinent patients and bed baths etc. I love the science of nursing and thought I would love the chance to care for patients. But I spent the whole day gagging and trying not to throw up and I can't stop crying. I feel like seeing people like that was worse than I thought it would be- that it's just too hard or sad or draining and I feel like I don't have the stomach for it. I've been a doula for a long time and love birth, so I wanted to get my BSN and eventually become a midwife. But now I literally feel like I can't do the clinicals this semester let alone the whole program. I feel like it's something I *might* get used to but that I don't want to be "used" to seeing wounds like that. And like I'll never be ok with adult urine...it smells so much worse than I thought it would...and I had a patient with a trach and she kept coughing sputum out of it and that made me super sick.

My family wants me to stick it out and go for it but I don't know if I can. I feel like maybe i would regret it later or I'm worried I would, but I also feel like I definitely don't want to do this bedside care and that I don't want to waste money trying to get through school only to possibly discover when working that it hasn't gotten any better. Help? Thoughts? I'm doing really well in classes but idk about the clinical practice. It's just so much harder in person than I thought it would be

[Froggybelly]

You aren't going to get many tunneling pressure ulcers or trachs in L&D or OB. Stick it out. If you are physically and mentally able to handle your courses, there's a niche out there for you.

[Lavie30]

I was in your position back when I was in nursing school and I absolutely HATED my clinical rotations. I entered nursing with a strict goal in mind- doing public health and HIV/AIDS prevention&treatment and then moving on to be an infectious disease NP in an outpatient setting.

I hated acute care and dreaded my med-surg rotations....fast forward 5 years later I've been working as a nurse. I did 2 years in med-surg..still hated it but it helped build me as a nurse and now I work in public health in HIV/AIDS care and am in NP School doing an HIV/ADS specialization.

Just like me you came into nursing school with a specific goal in mind. You want to be a midwife so PLEASE keep your eyes on the PRIZE! Sometimes you have to do what you don't want in order to get to where you want to be. These experiences will make you stronger. Keep that in the back of your head while going through your clinicals. You can do this!!!!

[hopefulmidwife1]

I was in your position back when I was in nursing school and I absolutely HATED my clinical rotations. I entered nursing with a strict goal in mind- doing public health and HIV/AIDS prevention&treatment and then moving on to be an infectious disease NP in an outpatient setting.

I hated acute care and dreaded my med-surg rotations....fast forward 5 years later I've been working as a nurse. I did 2 years in med-surg..still hated it but it helped build me as a nurse and now I work in public health in HIV/AIDS care and am in NP School doing an HIV/ADS specialization.

Just like me you came into nursing school with a specific goal in mind. You want to be a midwife so PLEASE keep your eyes on the PRIZE! Sometimes you have to do what you don't want in order to get to where you want to be. These experiences will make you stronger. Keep that in the back of your head while going through your clinicals. You can do this!!!!

Thank you so much! This is so kind of you. I really really appreciate everyone's responses. You guys, I dropped two classes, including my clinical...several weeks later/off I am feeling like I am emotionally more stable ish...My patient died my last day of clinical and that put me over the edge a little bit and I dropped those classes. Having some space off has given me the opportunity to get a clearer head again. I do really want this and I have registered for next semester with a plan to "prepare" more for clinical this time. I will be one semester behind but that's okay. I can manage that! Thank you all so much.

[funnie17]

"An opportunity to restore their dignity, to hear their story if they are willing to tell it, to help a family advocate for their loved one, to be (even for just a moment) a loved one if they don't have anybody. NEVER get used to human indignity!! Doula them, hold space for them, speak light into their dark place!"

Wow!