Client passing away, is this common?

[CabanaDay]

I've been working as a CNA for an agency for a few months. It has all gone pretty OK except a patient I have been seeing every day since Thanksgiving passed away while I was there yesterday. It took a really long time to get anyone on the phone at midnight Super Bowl Sunday night when this happened. When the office finally called back, I was told to just call Hospice and make sure I called back to let them know when I clocked out early. I helped the Hospice nurse clean her up and then went home and called the office. That's the last I've heard from anyone. I had to excuse myself a couple of times during my other bath visits later today because I was crying. I'm feeling better about the death but not so good about the agency. Are they just assuming I'm OK with all of this because death is so common? It's my first and I'm actually not as OK as I thought. What do I do?

[Irisheyessmilin]

Hi cabana. What you are experiencing is 100% normal and completely human. What we do is very emotionally trying. You take solice in knowing that you provided excellent and compassionate care for this pt in their hours of greatest need.GOOD FOR YOU. Keep doing what you are doing. Focus on the fact that you were able to provide this care and provided quality to this pts life-no one (outside healthcare) thinks about the simple loss of independence -incontinence, feeding, ambulation,etc...What you did was preserve this persons dignity and add a comfortable kindness. Be proud of that!Also talk to some of your co workers you feel comfortable with. I bet they have experienced the exact same emotions at some time. Sharing with others can be very therapeutic. They can help you just like you helped your pt.:hug:

[CloudySue]

I'm sorry you are going through this, it is indeed a shock when you experience your first death in healthcare and it feels like you're the only one who gives a hoot. When I started working in a nursing home I could not believe how nonchalant people were to most residents' passing. Sure, there were a few residents that were near and dear so you had some people be upset for a few days, but 95% of the time, people got about as bummed out about it as if they walked into a room and missed the last slice of pizza. I, too, learned not to let it in. It will drive you to depression if you let it. I can't explain how I put up that wall, I think the trick is to not get close to anyone to begin with. Maybe I just got used to it after a while. You may want to ask a nursing supervisor for some guidance, because to the non-nursing managers, schedulers, etc., clients are just names on paper for which they had to schedule coverage. The folks in the field are the ones who get to know our clients best.