Choose Nursing or Family?

[NepRN]

I am fairly a new nurse. After several years of tough waiting and job hunt, landed a job in a different state before moving to DC for a new job as a RN. It so happens that my life situation changed and we had to travel to Asia to take care of aging parental needs. I requested for few weeks off but was denied. I tried to apply for FMLA but was denied because in-laws needs are not considered family needs!!! Anyways, I was told by my manager to resign, go back and return back to reapply. She said "I will hire you." But I still didn't want to put my career in a jeopardy and tried to get leave of absence but was consistently denied and the manager told me it wasn't under her control. Desperate and left with no choice, I resigned from the RN position at the floor and gave enough notice to find replacement RN.

Before leaving, I was still working and looking for jobs. I was fortunate to find a position with another DC hospital and was verbally offered a job. They knew about me traveling for family needs and were ok with me starting the job upon my return. They were willing to wait for even two months!!!! Then came the job reference part -- I asked my clinical supervisor at the job (that I was still working even after I resigned) to give me a job reference. She took it and said ok but instead another new clinical supervisor who was furious that I resigned from the position and hated me for everything I do, filled in the reference form and faxed it to the new employer. She marked "will not rehire" and faxed the paper to the new employer. Result is I got a call from the new employer to let me know they decided to withdraw the offer. I was crying, thinking hard, going crazy just to figure out what went wrong. I called the new employer as well as my manager from the hospital I was working at then (and had resigned). The manager told me her response would be the same as the clinical supervisor's was despite the fact they both said "you were a great nurse and no doubt in your clinical skills. But you called out sick on Sunday." I said "I called out because I was sick, but I never signed a paper saying I will never get sick when I started this job." I talked, pleaded, requested for the manager to reverse the reference sent but it didn't happen.

So I went to HR for help. HR manager was nice in the beginning and sounded like she understood. She mentioned "you never should have to resign, you could have gotten unpaid leave." That's exactly what I requested for to my manager -- "an unpaid leave" if she couldn't let me go on PTO or FMLA. But at the end HR manager also took side of the management (floor and the clinical supervisor). She said I "assumed" that unfair reference was sent while it's not true and that she told me to "sign a leave of absence form" which later will be signed by my manager. At this point, the situation had gotten so ugly, I didn't want to work under that management at all. I refused LOA and told the HR manager, I had no intention to go back to that floor to work under that management again. They still didn't take me out of the hospital system and never processed my last paycheck. I kept making international calls to get my money but nothing happened. When it come to the end point, I told the HR manager I will file a lawsuit. She sent an email that looked like I was refusing the LOA and that the email was my resignation (=note they never validated the original resignation I gave to them). I was very frustrated and told her my resignation was long given and had enough notice in there for replacement RN.

Now I am back in the US. After three more emails I finally received my paycheck where they clearly took my money for no reason because they extended my status in the hospital without my consent. I had done an interview before starting the travel to transfer to a different department, but the manager didn't give out good reference and so I couldn't transfer to the new floor either.

At this point, I am jobless, stressed, financially hit and don't know what should I do next. I sometimes think I should as well as few other well-wishers tell me to file a lawsuit against the hospital and the manager as well as file a lawsuit against the clinical supervisor who provided the bad reference even though I asked another clinical supervisor to fill out the form. The one who provided the reference legally falsified the reference provided to another institution as her name wasn't even there where I had to fill out the name for the person who I wanted to provide the reference for me.

Do you have any suggestions for me? Should I file a lawsuit? If yes, where should I go? Has anyone done this before? I don't want to waste a lot more time fighting but the bad part of the reference is I not only lost the job and went through all this, but now I can't apply to that institution as well as any other under its umbrella because I am a black-listed candidate for them.

Or should I just let this go and try to find a job somewhere else where there still is a possibility I wont be able to get good reference from the employer.

Please provide me with suggestions. Any will be appreciated.

Thanks.

[Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN]

I am so sorry you are experiencing this.....here is the reference for FLMA and the qualifications to be allowed one.....you probably were not able because you didn't fit the qualifications......http://www.dol.gov/whd/fmla/

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[mcdebb]

Its a shame you have to gothur this when you are trying to help your family. HELLO, it may be you in laws that are sick, But your are a NURSE!!!

I would (without a problem) see a lawyer!!! I dont know what city you are in, but check the internet and referances. You are not the only one who has experianced this. Stand up for your rights!!! This is HARASSMENT!!!

I wish you lots of luck and I hope your family's health improves!

Take Care, Debbie

[NepRN]

Thank you! I am looking for jobs still and no luck yet. Thinking hard what should I do next. I think I will at least talk to a lawyer.