I am a student at a 16 month post-baccalaureate BSN program now. I graduate in December and plan to take the NCLEX in January. I also happen to be a 26-year-old that has been married almost four years and wants to start a family. I am looking for advice on when to continue with schooling.
I really want kids, but I also want to get my masters in CNM. Do I graduate, take a few years and have kids, and get some true nursing experience or do I try to go directly into the CNM program and put off the family for a few more years?
What has worked best for people that have had this experience?
Jun 18, '17
I think that having a family first and going through the birth experience on your own is SO SO SO valuable. It teaches you things that school can't. Not that there aren't good midwives that haven't had babies, but I think if it is something that you are wanting to do anyway it is worth putting it first. I have been interested in midwifery since high school, but chose to have my kids first and I've gotten so much perspective that I really value that I believe will make me a better midwife than I could have been before.
But it you can also get perspective from work experience and attending births, granted it is different, if you have a strong feeling about going to school first, I imagine that being a midwife can teach you a lot of good lessons about being a mom before you do that. I don't really think you can go wrong either way.
I'm wishing you all the best on your journey to becoming a midwife and I hope you let us know what you decide.
Maybe in some alternate universe where I am a responsible and logical adult, I would have finished my degree before I had kids, for various reasons that may or may not apply to you. But that baby fever is a powerful thing that is not easily quieted with logic and planning lol. Even if I had a do-over with 20/20 clarity, I probably would make the same choice to just have my kids and go to school and be a stressed out mess for a few years.
I kinda dug myself into a bad financial situation as a young adult, and simultaneously chose an exceedingly bad person to have kids with. So I really had no choice but to plow ahead with school as quickly as possible, kids or no.
You are young, and will soon have a degree with good income potential. You are already setting yourself up for success which means you've got some wiggle room to make whatever decision feels best to you. If you weren't soon to have the benefit of your RN degree, then my advice would be to finish school first, because you DO NOT want your financial future to be in the hands of your partner, no matter how much you love and trust them. Even if you decided to stay home long term with your kids (which I tend to caution against tbh) you need to be able to support yourself financially if something were to happen to your spouse.
It is also important to note that the longer you are out of school, the more difficult it is to get back into it. So you don't want to fall into the trap of perpetually deferring your education.