Career and Baby!

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Hello All,

Some background about me, I have just got an awesome job in urgent care and love working. I do not do well staying home (get anxiety and feel unaccomplished).

My husband and I are in our early 30's, thinking about having kids now. The problem is it worries me to death thinking HOW I will manage a kid and work fulltime. I have my husbands family to help who will pretty much do anything and everything to help (like I would not have to lift a finger type help 24/7). Problem with that is....obviously constant unsolicited advice and I the family that will help is very opinionated- will not take any direction. I am a very motivated individual although do not want to slow down my career (such as work parttime) anytime soon!

My concern is I worked a LONG time to get to where I am independently, I do not want to take off for a couple of years (due to the saturation of the market and the personal want to work). My question to everyone is when you had a child how did you manage your work and your child? Did you have help? Is there anything you would've done differently?

Thank you in advance.

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There is no reason you would have to work part time just to have a baby, that is unless you want to. I worked full time for 4 years with my first. I had some guilt in the beginning about it but quickly learned that I am not suited for stay-at-home type lifestyle. I needed to work for my own well being. Once I realized this all of the guilt faded away and my time home with my daughter and husband was wonderful. Daughter #1 went to daycare full time, and is now in preschool full time and it's great. She loves school and I love work and we all cherish our evenings and weekends together. Fast forward today and I have an almost 4 month old. I choose to work 32 hours instead so I can have a little better work-life balance but am still considered full time and don't feel that my career is suffering at all. My advice is to find good childcare and recognize where you need the extra help. I have virtually no family near to help and while it can be challenging it's not really a struggle, so the fact that you have people willing to help 24/7 puts you miles ahead of the game. What exactly is it that worries you?

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Wsmfp88 thank you for the reply

I feel I am grateful and lucky for the help i have but have a fear of missing out on important firsts in a baby's life and also feel they will be raised obviously a bit differently than if I were raising them. This makes me fear the entire situation because I do not want to look back and have regrets? I think of this frequently and don't know how to relax about the situation.

I think your schedule of 32 hours is an awesome decision. I am happy that was available for you!

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I completely understand your anxieties, I was once there. I think I’ve gotten over them only because I have lived through them and know that no one can replace me as a mother in my child’s life. That will be true for you too. Yes you may miss their first word or first step but you will be there for the second and third and it will be the first word and step for YOU and it is just as special. You will still be raising your child. I know it’s hard to see now and even harder to trust the words of a stranger. The fears and anxieties don’t stop when you have a child either. Motherhood is constant worry but I’ll be the first to say it’s worth it. Hope you find answers you are looking for!

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Wsmfp88

I appreciate your kind words. It does help me feel better that someone can relate to these worries. I know in the end things are meant to be for me and this current job I am about to start seems to be a great fit. Time will tell! ?

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