Can I do this?

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Hello,

I am just beginning the process of my nursing education (have applied for a PN certificate program) but am starting to have serious doubts (fears?) about my decision.

I have been interested in working for hospice since my grandfather died, almost ten years ago, in the care of hospice. It took me this long to get the courage to even apply to a college.

Ironically enough, it is not the illness and death that frighten me - I love the idea that as a hospice nurse I am not trying to save a life but to save something which I think is equally important: another person's right and need for dignity and compassion. I'm always suprised at some individual's reaction when they hear that I want to do hospice, a sort of how depressing! Why would you want to work for a lost cause? reaction. As if a person isn't worth helping if they can't be cured.

No, what frightens me are all the horror stories I've heard, which seem to culminate into the awful reality that from the moment you graduate, you are on your own (I have now heard the catchy phrase "nurses eat their young" at least a dozen times.) From what I can gather, nursing programs do not prepare their students for the realities of the profession, which include understaffing, high patient loads, catty coworkers, 16 hours days and unsympathetic supervisors.

I have also heard that most nurses are required to complete orientation in an ER or OR ward, regardless of what their long term goals are, and this is something I don't see myself cut out for. I still think I would like to work with hospice, but am starting to doubt my ability to overcome the obstacles in getting there. I've heard that to be a nurse you have to be self-assured, thick skinned and confident - I'm not! I'm terrified that I will spend thousands of dollars and time for something that's not right for me.

I understand that nobody here can say what I should or can do, so I think I am really just looking for reassurance. Something to balance out all the negative horror stories I have heard about the nursing profession. I'm looking for something positive, some "I was once as frightened and unsure as you but I made it and love it!"

Anything... ?:innerconf

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It is very true that nurses eat their young. Why would we do that? If you walk one day in a nurses shoes, I am sure you will find the ansewer. Nurses are the handmaidens of the medical field, our voices are silenced by big corporate hospitals, hospice organizations and the like. The goal in the medical field is the dollar and we emerge new nurses with this naivete that has lead us to believe nursing is a career of compassion. The nurses you will meet who have been in this profession long enough have had to harden themselves to survive. Therefore they are "task" orientated and not going to be derailed off schedule by a novice. They will march through the day like a soldier going into combat. They have no energy remaining to nuture new nurses or employ any sensitivity to them or patients. In Hospice one would assume this simply cannot be true! How can you not be compassionate to the dying and their loved ones. A Hospice Nurse carries a caseload of 14 or more and is expected to complete reams of documentation. It is not 1:1 nor 1:2 it is 1:14-16 patients all terminally ill, many who have pain that must be managed, have families that are overwhelmed. So new nurse..my advice..hold onto your knickers because your in for a big surprise at the end of that path your traveling.

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Well, we don't "eat our young" in my organization, but you would need to have experience before you got here in order to be prepared to face the daily challenges. I found that when I started spending several years on a LTC skilled unit was very helpful and having a more stable population was also a plus. We do everything we can to mentor our new employees and help them develop good time management skills and support them emotionally as well.

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Specializes in ICU,HOME HEALTH, HOSPICE, HEALTH ED.

darwinsthumb--I must say, I do not have the hardened nurses RyanSofie describes. Of course, I have only worked for 30 years and in 5 orgainzations. Nursing is rewarding career. There are many focuses to choose from. Yes, there is a certain amount of work you will need to do in medsurg or post op units before you can go to a speciality unit such as Home Health/Hospice. Sure there are catty nurses, mean managers and unsupportive organizations out there. You don't have to work for one. As you do you clinicals, ask around. Nurses are happy to tell you if theirs is a good organization to work for. You are right already...the heart of nursing is being our there with the patients and families. Once I arrived at home based nursing, I stayed put for the remainder of my career. I have been in Home Health and Hospice since 1987--2/3 of my career. Before I got there, I had taken a year off 2 x's to look for another profession, further education to achieve that...

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Specializes in Hospice, Palliative Care, OB/GYN, Peds,.

I have been in nursing for 41 years and have worked in three states and several areas of nursing. I was a sensitive person and some of my instructors didn't think that I would make it through school ( BSN program). Well I did and made it through the Navy and several toxic jobs afterward. I have been a Hospice nurse for 8 years and will remain until retirement. It is more autonomous and the docs really respect me and I can still be sensitive and caring. I had wanted to be a nurse since I was 10 years old and was actually called to the profession,so really nothing could stand in my way. Anyway, do not let others scare you from doing what you feel called to do. It is a noble profession and there are some compassionate nurses that can help you through it. Good luck and I will pray for you.:heartbeat

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