Can I be a nurse? My qualities, personality?

[Neurotic Student]

WARNING! Might be a long and tiring read for some of you..If you don't want to read, I don't blame you and if you finish, I thank you for reading my story.

Hi everyone,

I'm a newbie to here, and to the world of nursing too. So I was accepted into a CSU BSN nursing program in California. I am beginning my first year. I have just finished week one of my starter nursing courses. From the reading, I got an idea of what qualities a good nurse should have. From the looks of it, I'm not a very good candidate.

My perception is that good nurses should:

-be able to think critically and quickly at all times

-have a warm, caring demeanor

-be able to communicate well, smoothly, and quickly

-make no mistakes or extremely few and minor mistakes in documenting, as these mistakes are very detrimental to the hospital and to your nursing career

-knowing when to self-disclose and how much to self-disclose to a patient; your remarks/opinions can be legally-incriminating and/or unprofessional but not sharing anything about yourself and your thoughts can give off a cold vibe to patients

MY QUALITIES:

-introverted disposition, and due to that reason, I rarely crank out a good answer or decision on the spot; I can think and reason fairly well when I am in my private space

-slow communication, especially on topics I'm not sure of and especially when I'm anxious or nervous

-I am considerate of others and will not offend others but not appearing warm may put off patients or offend them; I have a problem with expressing emotions. I care for people in a masculine way, by only doing things for people. I have a harder problem expressing my caring in words/emotions.

-I'm not quick on deflecting questions that would be unprofessional for a nurse to answer with his/her opinion or even able to do that

-have a hard time connecting socially

-self-esteem issues/self-loathing

-high neuroticism (the psychological definition: prone to feel feel anger, sadness, anxiety easily)

-very perceptive but have difficulty in decision to react/act; hesitant

I've barely gotten through the first week of nursing school and I'm already very anxious. I don't have any nursing buddies. I feel like a loser nursing student because I don't have the right qualities and I don't have the social skills to connect to people. I think I stand out as loner in my nursing classes because everyone notices every else in such a small group. Many people applied to the program but only 50 students were admitted. I think some people have already detected that I have poor social skills.

I don't know if this is the "wrong" field for me. I have not volunteered in a hospital nor do I have nurses in my family. I have been in a hospital 2-3 times. Never been hospitalized. I just know I would like to develop knowledge and skills in a field where I can aid people in an area that involves supporting human health that is in a critical condition. Helping people that actually need help to live. Helping people in a financial sense is not truly essential because man does not need money to be living. Money is the means to work towards good health in the newly man-made way to survive on Earth.

Others seem to be either passionate about nursing, or they were influenced by family. I don't really know if I will be immensely passionate in nursing because I have no experience in it at all. I didn't expect to be accepted into the nursing program but I was admitted into it. I thought volunteer experience was vital to getting accepted, but apparently not. I didn't study for my TEAS test but ironically, I think that is what got me accepted. I think if someone was analyzing me, I don't seem very passionate about nursing because I did not study for my TEAS and I did not remember choosing pre-nursing as my college major.

Do you think I should be a nurse? Do you think I would be a terrible nurse due to my qualities? What should I do? Can I survive nursing, considering the way I am? Can I actually improve my qualities?

Help....I'm troubled. Oh and I don't have a social support system. I would really appreciate it if someone could offer me guidance/advice or at least redirect me to someone who can help me.

Once again, thanks!

[caliotter3]

Lots of introverted people who can't connect very well go into healthcare and survive. It just might be harder for you and you will have to work at it versus someone who is "social". I suspect that you will find yourself coming out of your shell more and more, the longer you expose yourself to helping people. Take some time to go do some visiting in a nursing home. Spend some time with these poor people who are hungry for some attention and warmth. It will make you feel good and you will start to see your place. Don't put yourself down.

[Neurotic Student]

Thanks caliotter. I was very anxious & stressed when I wrote that whole essay up there. I was a bit doubtful anyone would answer me b/c of that pile of mess up there. Thanks, I really appreciate it. I really do hope I will become less anxious when I become familarized with nursing.

Now I've never been a patient to a nurse but I think this situation of mine is similar to how patients must feel -- anxiety due to unfamilarity and inexperience. They would not only need physical care but mental care as well. I hope I will be able to provide help in the mental aspect as well. My own emotional-mental functioning isn't so great.

I think I've figured out why I'm freaking out big time... I'm focusing way too much on the big picture of nursing and it's overwhelming me. Whew.