burnt at 24?

[rosesarered]

I graduated after 4 years, and really thought I knew what I was getting myself into. I had been a CNA since I got out of high school, and continued working in a hospital close to my school part time while I took classes. I have now been an RN for almost 3 years. I went directly into critical care right out of school and really thought I was in love with it. Within the last year I decided to move to another critical care unit in a larger hospital with more opportunities. I was thinking about going back to school and wanted something new for experience.

But lately things have changed. I have turned into this strangely morbid and pessimistic person that I barely recognize. New grads make me ill because I remember being that excited and now I envy them. I don't want to be that nurse that is known for being miserable with the job, but I don't know what to do next. I am so embarrassed with the nurse that I have become. I miss loving my job so much. I am so dreadfully discouraged that recently I have thought about leaving the field all together. I know times are tough and I should be lucky to have a job, but I feel like I'm on the shuttle to hell.

I really think that burnt nurses are not burnt at all, there must be some way to cope with all the hurt and death that you see on a day to day basis. It's almost like a hardened shell. Maybe its like some kind of PTSD. haha

just needed to vent, and I hope I'm not alone.

[The Hated Consultant]

I can totally sympathize.

I did office nursing for a while several years ago. I got SO SICK of dealing with people. People on Medicaid who couldn't afford their dollar co-pay, but who could be seen coming out of the convenience store across the way with beer, cigarettes, chips, soft drinks, etc. People who called with chest pains, who were urged to go to the ER--we were a small rural health clinic--but who insisted they come to us because "I don't want to wait in an ER". (But it's OK to die because we can't treat you, right?) People who walked in demanding to be seen because they have been having _______ for usually 6 months or more. People who had NO idea what they were taking--"it's a little white pill".

I had to get out or lose my mind. Let's face it--any nursing area will have its challenges. For me, dealing with people who refused to take personal responsibility was the breaking point. Have you thought about another type of nursing? Long term care was the answer for me.

Good luck, and I hope you continue with your nursing career. You spent so much time and effort (and money and sanity!) to get where you are now. Try another branch on the tree! :)