At a crossroads in life...

[sirveaux]

I haven't posted here in a long time. For a long time, I thought my chances with nursing were finished, but here is where I stand now. If any of you have advice or thoughts on my situation, I would love to hear your feedback. Sorry in advance for the long post.

Three and a half years ago, I was in LPN school. I was doing very well, and was only one clinical session and one computer class away from graduating and becoming a LPN. I had plans to go on to finish my BSN. I was also in the throes of romance at the same time. My fiance and I were having a long distance relationship, and because my school was struggling with a teacher shortage, my graduation date was bumped back by a semester. He did not want to wait to get married, so after some long discussions with him, I decided to put school on hold and get married. I moved out west and out of state with him, and that's where I am now.

I thought that I would transfer to a school out here as soon as I moved, but due to financial issues, I never did it. I am now at a community college taking a couple of general courses, but because most of my nursing credits are three years old, the school will not accept them. I kind of gave up on it.

I thought seriously for a while about becoming a teacher, because the hours are nice, but I don't know that I'm cut out for it. I worked in a school last year as a nurse's assistant, and hated it. I mean I hated it. I do not know how public school teachers put up with the lack of respect that they get, or how they put up with the parents. I don't know that the hours and holdiays off make the job itself worth the lack of respect and pay. I just don't know that my heart is in it, even though I can see a few minor perks. I have several teachers in my family, and they all complain about their jobs constantly...except during the summer.

Lately I keep thinking back to being a nurse again. I was so passionate about it when I was in school. I felt a calling to work with either the elderly, psych patients, or in hospice. School was hard, but I enjoyed it and did well. I did a little research yesterday and found out that my college right now will not accept my old credits, but they will possibly allow me to start in advanced placement if I can do well on their "former student" exam. When I saw this, I felt really inspired to go back to it. However...

When I told my husband, he was frustrated. "I thought you were going to become a teacher. Why can't you just pick something and do it?" I felt so angry that I couldn't talk about it. I just dropped the subject. The reason why I didn't finish school in the first place was so that I could come out here with him. I dropped my dreams, stopped school, and moved two time zones away so that we could be together. I love him, and our marriage is good in most areas but this one. I just feel like he doesn't understand me on this subject. And he's worried that if I were a nurse, that I'd never be home, or I'd be working weird hours, etc.

I just needed to vent here a little. I need to decide what I'm going to do, as I'm not getting any younger and I don't want to waste any more time flipflopping on careers. I wish I had a sign from above, or something to guide me. I feel that my heart is in nursing and helping people, but my own personal hangups (not to mention my husband) make me doubt myself. What if I get back in and find out that I can't do it anymore? What if they accept me, but I still have to wait a year or two for clinicals? What if I fail out here?

Just a lot think about right now.

[JBGC4]

Educate him on the difference in pay! LOL

Really, let him know that you need to be doing something that YOU enjoy, otherwise, you will be unhappy and it WILL affect your relationship w/ him. You WILL resent him for holding you back. Maybe not in the next month, or even the next year, but it will sneak up on you. Resentment is a hard habit to break!!! Try to avoid it.

[DolceVita, ADN, BSN, RN]

I think you need to decide if you want to be a nurse. If yes, take the exams and see if you can get advanced standing. Even if you cannot get advanced standing you have made a decision and have a goal.

As far as your husband goes I think you need to ask 2 things of him. First, his support while you decide -- and put a time limit on deciding so everything is NOT up in the air. Second, his support while you pursue your goal whatever that might be. Just remind him and yourself that "support" doesn't always mean agree.

What might be the absolute best course of action is to make an appointment with one of the career advisors at your local college. They can do all sorts of special testing to see what other careers might be "up your street". That way you can research those options too.

Also, you will need to know what your husband's "worries" are actually about. There is a possibility that you will have some weird hours in nursing, initially. Then again maybe not. Certainly, nursing school will keep you busy before you even get to the working stage (you already know that). Ask him specifics, so you can address specifics.

Ultimately, if you are happy and fulfilled your relationship with him would probably be all the better.

Good luck whatever you choose.