application question??

[sstei5988]

Hello,

I'm close to graduating, and am now applying for jobs. Right now, I am applying for a very competitive nurse residency program in my area. One of the application questions is "What accomplishment are you most proud of professionally?" For some reason I found this question very difficult to answer. Anyways, here is what I said:

"Prior to the start of nursing school, I was unsure if I would be able to handle the immense responsibility that comes along with this career choice. Upon entering nursing school, I realized how much drive and passion I had to succeed in nursing. I put forth great effort and dedication throughout my nursing school journey to make sure that I could become the best nurse I possibly can. I have worked two jobs throughout nursing school, and have maintained a 4.0 GPA. I am proud of this accomplishment, and have a strong desire to continue this commitment to learning throughout my nursing career."

What are your honest thoughts on this answer, and/or any suggestions?

[FutureNurseInfo]

As a general statement it seems fine to me. However, I think you should expend on it: add an actual example, granted you are limited to a certain number of words. In your answer you state "how much effort and dedication" you put in your education, but no specific examples. I think having a quick example to paint a brighter picture, in my opinion, will better your response. However, this is just my opinion, so you may disagree.

[Double-Helix, BSN, RN]

You will strengthen the paragraph by stating your accomplishment first. Using more active voice will make your accomplishment seem more significant.

My greatest professional accomplishment is achieving and maintaining a 4.0 GPA throughout nursing school. I devoted great effort and dedication to achieve academic excellence while also working full time outside of school. This accomplishment has made me confident that I am able to handle the commitment and responsibility of a professional nursing career. I am proud of my drive and passion to succeed, and plan on putting forth the same effort to be successful in X residency program."