Anyone Lost A Baby?

[Happy-ER-RN]

Hello. I just lost my little boy at 20 weeks gestation last week. I am scared to death to go back to work, not only the fact that I have to face all of my peers with an empty belly and empty heart, but how I am I going to take care of all the miscarriages and ill infants of white trash parents who smoke in the house and all those kinds of things. I feel like it really takes a bit of emotional strength to perform our jobs on a day to day basis, so how am I supposed to do it when I am completely worn down? Have any of you ever been through something like this? Advice? I am thinking about making an appearance to "check the schedule" or something the day before I go back so I can get some of the hugs and things out of the way in case I break down.

[JessicRN]

I am so sorry for your loss. Believe me I know what you are going through and I would not wish it on anyone. Anyone having a misscarriage is tough but an ER nurse having one is very very tough. I have lost more then one and with each one the pain was worse the last was the worst because my husband left me because I could not have kids. :angryfire. I tried to work in the ED but it got too much I was crying all the time. I stopped working in the ED just after my 4th miscarriage because I could not stand all the drug addicted pregnant mother or minors having babies. Not to mention the mothers on MA health (welfare for the poor) pregnant with their 4th kid all unkempt and with DSS involement. It was so not fair. Taking care of a miscarring women was horrible as was taking care of critical infants and cribdeath babies. I had a harder time as all six of my brothers and sisters had children in that period. (I refused to be near the babies until they turned one years old.) I tried going to a support group but my grief was poo pooed by everyone else as they lost a child after birth so my loss was not the same.??? I went to work in a male prison for 5 years then came back to the ED. I missed every minute I was away but it was very very important that I leave for my mental health.

My advice is to let yourself grieve and seek professional help if it gets too much. I know their are grief support group maybe the one in your area would be better. Working in the ED is hard. Speak with your nurse manager and let her /him know how it is going. If possible ask to switch assignments if you get a pt that brings the loss to the forefront. Be upfront with your cohorts. Good luck to you I made it through so will you.