Any new grads planning their exit from nursing?

[leilo0, BSN, RN]

[color=#333333]sorry for the long rant. its my day off and have been feeling down lately...

[color=#333333]i think subconsciously i've been wanting out since first year.

[color=#333333]i remember wanting to run out of the nursing home on my first day of clinical. i should have listened to my gut feeling then because four years later, i'm still sleepless and anxious before each clinical rotation, still wanting to run away every time. in fourth year, i finally had the courage to consciously admit to myself that this is not what i want for the rest of my life and the realization was bittersweet - i only had one semester to go, have already amassed a huge student loan in the process and will be graduating in a few months. but with this realization, i found the courage to want what i really want for myself. i read the article about regrets of the dying and promised myself to never have this regret - i wish i'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

[color=#333333]it's odd really, when some of the people i know would want to be in my position: a friend of mine will be going in to her sixth year of nursing school and still trying, a few of my colleagues are still waiting to land a job. i would be considered one of the "lucky" ones - passed the nursing exam in my first try and got a full time position in the medicine unit where i did my pregrad. funny enough, it's the same unit i swear i will never work at even if they offered me a job. but what to do? i have a student loan i was getting desperate to pay off. so i have been there for three months now and each shift is stressful and unbearable. i adore the people i work with but i just can't handle the fast-paced, high adrenaline environment and the life and death responsibilities of acute care. i'm hoping to last until december but i'm starting to wonder if i'll make it through then. by december, i hope to switch to a part-time position so i can have more time to take some classes and save some money. i'm also planning to move to asia next year.

[color=#333333]my preceptor told me once that with experience, she can see me becoming an excellent nurse. a part of me wants to see this nurse that i could become. but there's this longing in my heart that's bigger than these hospital walls and i intend to follow it to wherever it may take me. for now, i hope to have the courage and grace to weather this storm until december but sometimes i think life is too short to be feeling like this...

[color=#333333]i'm curious to hear from new grads who also had a change of heart - what are your non-nursing dreams and what you're planning to do about it?

[Double-Helix, BSN, RN]

I'm sorry that you're feeling this way. :hug: It's not a good feeling to be unhappy in your profession- not matter what profession it is.

I've always thought that, in order to be happy as a nurse, you have to enjoy what you're doing. Clearly, you aren't enjoying your work. That's okay! It doesn't make you a bad person, or even a bad nurse. It just means that it's not the best career for you. If you had just recently developed these feelings then I'd suggest you try other areas of nursing first, but you said that you've felt this way since nursing school, despite the clinical location. I agree with your decision to try to save money in order to take other classes.

What other career paths are you considering?

I wonder if you would be open to exploring opportunities to use your nursing skills for humanitarian aide- such as the Peace Corps? I get the feeling that you might enjoy some of the aspects of caring for others, but the acute care setting is not for you. Perhaps you'll find more fulfillment in international service.

[geminiRNC]

I am not a new grad, but I feel your pain. After my first semester of school--I knew that nursing was not what I really enjoyed or wanted. But it was my only option and I was determined to finish and then pursue another career. Fast forward almost 12 years and i'm still here--still nursing--still not enjoying it. Life, kids, husband, and bills have a way of putting some dreams on hold for a while. I'm always told that I am a great nurse and I still always give 100%--my patients deserve that. But some days I wish my car would veer off the side of the road on the way to work I always look at other nurses or my friends & family that basically enjoy what they do. One word--ENVY...

Try some other areas of nursing--there is such a great variety. Something may peak your interest...but don't mistake achieving the goal of becoming "an excellent nurse" as your instructor suggested, as happiness. You can be very competent and the best on your unit--but it won't make your career choice any more fulfilling if you aren't content.

[DEgalRN]

I could have written this post just about word for word. I took a med/surg job in a hospital I swore I would never work because it was the first job I was offered and I had bills to pay. I never wanted to do med/surg. I hated my med/surg clinical. I disliked all the acute care clinicals, but med/surg was the worst for me. I've been in my position for about 11 months, and honestly, everyone says that I'm doing great for a new grad who's about a year out. But I come into work and leave work worrying about the day. What did I forget? What should I have done? Did I remember to chart that insignificant conversation? What else can I worry about? I'm a lot more confident then I was 11 months ago, and I know it can take a lot longer to really get everything down, but I honestly, and truly believe that med/surg... actually acute care nursing isn't for me.

In addition tosimply not enjoying med/surg, I can't stand the 12 hour days. Idon't mind weekends or holidays yet, but I don't have kids yet. Ihonestly don't know how people with children can work a 12 hour day,even if it's only 3 days a week.

And so, I'mgetting out of acute care. I'm moving on to a M-F public heathnursing position. I feel as though it's going to be a much betterfit for myself.

Anyway, thewhole point of that vent/rant, was to let you know that you're notalone! You can still be a good nurse and not enjoy it, and it tookme a long time to realize that! If you make it to December, great. If not, you have to live for yourself! Good luck!