Anxious overwhelmed RN

[bunnyears]

I have been on orientation for three months now on med-surg and have had a handful of different preceptors. I have had different feedback from all of them, most of it good but a few that were concerned with me keeping up with the fast pace. I had a terrible day a few weeks ago when a preceptor spoke to me like an errant child because I was running behind. I broke into tears (how embarrassing!)I am trying my hardest but it seems at times I can't work fast enough. I am feeling totally discouraged. I don't seem to be a great fit on this unit. I can "feel" the whispers "why is she still on orientation?" I get that no one want to be associated with the nurse that's just not getting it. I'm embarrassed that I'm not succeeding. I feel overwhelmed and I seem to go into a panic mode where I can't think through situations when I have to multi task, it's like I hit a wall and I can't see past it. To give a little back story, I am coming from a two year maternity leave, but prior to that I worked at a special residential facility for patients with severe Intellectual disabilities for 3 years. That was fine, but they will be closing down due to de-institutionalization. The only problem I had there was how one doctor treated me and the other nurses. (A theme) The treatment of subjugation from the Doc made me anxious and I felt sick every time I had to call her, but the daily routine was not anxiety producing.

I do have anxiety about coming to work to the point that I have physical symptoms of nausea and diarrhea. (I have anxiety 2nd to ADD). I am thinking about trying night shift so that I am not so overwhelmed. At this point I think it would look terrible if I quit after only three months orientation and after they have invested so much. I would like to be successful but, maybe I'm just not cut our for floor nursing. Do you think night shift would be a better fit? any thoughts and ideas on coming out of this gracefully and tactfully?

[beekee]

Go to the first year of nursing forum and you will find literally thousands of similar posts. The first year as a nurse sucks. That does not mean you suck, however.

They say it gets better. You get more efficient. You can anticipate better. Charting becomes easier. You know where to find stuff, who to call and what to say when you do call. But all of that takes time.

If you quit now, you'll have to start over with another huge learning curve. But, there's nothing wrong with deciding the chaos that is hospital nursing isn't for you.

[nursemike, ASN, RN]

Every great nurse you will ever know has been where you are. Every.Single.One.