Anxiety after leaving work!

[NursePie]

I am a new nurse with about 5 months experience. When I am at work I double and triple check everything I do. Every pill, injection, patch is checked over and over to make sure that it is the right dose, place etc. However when I leave work and come home I get a horrible feeling like I forgot something or that I gave the wrong thing. I check everything I do and I know I am giving the right med but I always question myself. Example: I give 4 units of insulin. I know I took the blood sugar. I know how many units to give. I check the bottle, the order, the name on the bottle before and after it is drawn up. Yet at the end of the shift I will go through the entire book and make sure everything is signed out and that the right amount of coverage was given. Sometimes I leave work and have to call back to make sure I but the right nitro patch on someone or to make sure I plugged the feeding back in. I KNOW that I did because I checked it and signed it but I still go home doubting myself. I am having major anxiety over this. I don't sleep well, I don't enjoy my life. I don't know if it the place I work. It is long term care and there are over 20 patients. The most is 32. I can't do 32 patients. I will be a reck. Could it be that I am the type of nurse that is better with less patients? What can I do to stop this? Any help is appreciated.

[Surih]

Hellow..i also had experience same like u before.i loose my weight 8kg during my 3months observation of my management in ward.but don`t worry the time will goes by and you will learn slowly.then when you learn from it carefully you will fell happy after you can do it freely without any mistake.Don not give but one thing you have to learn and the time will come to you soon.

[Brea LPN]

Try to not let persistent thoughts creep into your mind. Easier said than done, right? I felt the same way when I first started. It's like borderline OCD that we nurses sometimes feel. Over a few months, I became more confident and didn't have to quadruple check so much. I believe you will do the same.

[twin1RN]

this is what helps me, 'cause I have the same problem! When I am doing something (say giving insulin) as I am doing my triple check (ok.. sometimes more than triple)! I say to myself, ok bsl was ... , units I'm giving are ... give the insulin and then sign off that it's given. Then I think or even say (softly to myself) "done"

That is my cue to myself that I can move on, forget about it.

I also had a hard time letting go/forgetting about work once I'm home. I actually now find that when I hand over to the next shift- that is where I really do consciously hand over the care responsibility to the next shift. My day is over! It took me a long time to get that!

I hope that made sense

[caliotter3]

By no means am I a qualified psych. but I see signs of possible OCD. If you can't get a handle on this by practicing relaxation techniques, I suggest you speak to your physician. I feel you do enough checking on the job, reading your post. I do not believe your worry at home is justified. JMO

[Maevish, ASN, RN]

It think, depending on what mood you're in when you leave work (or if you have a bad dream--haha) there were always be those times when you SWEAR there's something you forgot, or didn't double check.

Granted I still consider myself new, but after 4 years, maybe 2 times a year, I'll call after I get home to check with the nurse I gave report to that such and such gtt was calculated into the pump right, etc. and I usually just get laughed at good-naturedly.

Honestly, I probably overdid it like that for my whole first year because I was thinking about how hard I worked for my RN and I just wanted everything to be RIGHT, so I'm not talking down to you at all (and as I said, it still happens once in a blue moon).

I aggree with caliotter though, if you can't get a grip (and I mean that in the nicest way possible because I know what you're going through) after a few more months and can't leave work at work, then maybe you need to have a chat with someone about it professionally. You may not even need counselling for a long time, but if things don't change it's worth a shot because chances are, all the double checking and triple checking is slowing down your work quite a bit as well.

That being said, I'd go crazy with 20 patients even if they were walkie/talkies and all I had to do was med passes and chart. It doesn't seem like a healthy environment for anyone.

[carl5480]

I had some of these same thoughts when I was new, too. I don't think you need to speak to your physician about this unless you're still feeling this way 2 years or so from now. This is a perfectly normal reaction for someone to have when they are suddenly entrusted with the lives of others.

Eventually, as others have said, you will make a mistake. Maybe a big one. And that is actually probably a good thing (assuming the patient outcome from said mistake is ok, of course), because then you'll learn that life does go on when you aren't perfect. If you are this diligent even after 5 months, I'm sure you're a safe enough nurse not to make a "reasonable" mistake.

Of course, if you do end up caring for too many patients, you literally won't have time to quadruple check everything, and eventually just checking once or twice will become habit. You just have to learn how to let go, and that takes time.