Anxiety Advice About Job

[Dill Pickle]

I am needing to rant and am also looking for advice. I have generalized anxiety disorder and depression. I do see a therapist and counselor. 

I left my job of 6 years taking care of someone in their home because I started worrying about my future career (that patient went in and out of the hospital a lot which left me without work while they were in the hospital). 

I've only been at this new job for 2 days but my stomach is all tied in knots about going back. My previous employer does want me back and is trying to offer me more money to come back. I feel stuck and at a loss as to what to do. This new job is night shift so I've had to adjust my sleeping patterns and is messing me up mentally and physically. I've started having issues with sleep deprivation, night (or day sweats) while sleeping, diarrhea, panic attacks, and just feeling generally unwell. Lots of crying, etc. I feel like I'm gojng crazy. They don't have any day shifts at this new job so I fear I'd be stuck doing nights for a while. 

I have thought about getting out of nursing altogether but I honestly can't afford to right now. The thought of going into this new job tonight makes me feel like I'm going to vomit honestly. The lack of sleep I got during the day has not helped. I feel physically and mentally unwell. When the job I left called me I started feeling my anxiety symptoms lessen a bit. I know this sounds horrible but I just feel like calling out sick with this new job and never returning. This is not like me as I rarely call out sick and I always work overtime etc. I don't know what to do. 

[kbrn2002, ADN, RN]

You need to take care of yourself before you take care of others. If you were comfortable and functioning well with your previous employer and have the opportunity to go back, with a bump in pay besides it is definitely an option worth exploring. It sounds like the main negative to that job was not having guaranteed hours when your client was hospitalized so negotiate for guaranteed hours as well as the pay raise for coming back.

If you decide to take their offer don't just call in sick and never go back. Do this the right way and give your two week notice with the intention of working your scheduled shifts during your notice period. Though honestly having just started this job it's pretty likely they will just let you leave once you put in that notice since there's no point in continuing your training period for a job you are not keeping but at least doing the right thing and giving your current employer the standard two week notice in writing will prevent you from landing on that dreaded do not rehire list. No point in burning bridges with the entire system just because this particular position wasn't for you.