Am I smart enough?

[tkluxen]

Hello, this is my first post on here, but I am reaching out to all of you for some advice. I need to dig myself out of this self-absorbed depression and lack of confidence in my abilities. I am in the part-time evening ADN program at Harrisburg Area Community College here in Lancaster, PA. The program is eight semesters long (back to back), and I have "successfully" completed four semesters. I'm not sure how other nursing programs work, but we have a dosage calculation policy here that gives me extreme anxiety. I have a 3.0 in the program so far, yet I was unable to move onto my fifth semester because of missing a problem on my dosage calc. exam. I have to sit out two semesters because of this. I will also have to retest on many of the skills that I already previously tested off on due to me being out for so long. I am not great at math. Upon being accepted into the RN program, I basically had to relearn many basic math skills in order to pass my dosage calc. entrance exam. Now, the math is NOT hard. It's pretty simple actually, and I have absolutely NO issues with any of the problems when practicing them at home. We can't use a calculator, so any mistakes I do make (like most students) are simple math mistakes. We have ten problems that we have to solve, and we have to get 100%. We do get one chance to fix our mistakes, but if we blow that chance then we sit out. I blew that chance. I got myself all worked up, and ended up screwing up a problem so bad that I couldn't figure out where I made the mistake. Dumb. So, after some tears (and having to call my husband and family after the exam to turn around, because I was to attend a striping ceremony for the second level immediately after) I decided that maybe it was a blessing in disguise. I was working 50 hours a week as a restaurant manager, raising three boys, and was starting a new job as a CNA for more flexible hours in a few weeks. I would have some time to gather myself up and revitalize. Only thing is - it's been 3 months, and I feel nothing other than depression and a sense of failure. What if I can't get through nursing school because of simple math? How can I get over this ridiculous testing anxiety? I hear updates from formal classmates, and I feel nothing but jealousy over their acheivements and self-loathing for my failures. I LOVE nursing, but am I smart enough? What if I don't make it? What are my options? It took me ten years to finally go back to school and do what I've always wanted to do, and now I'm afraid I'm just going to blow it. Any advice?? Thank you TKluxen

[Cuddleswithpuddles]

I firmly believe that hard work and consistency wins over smarts.

Yes, you are smart enough. You made it this far and have stated yourself that you understand the math. The anxiety is the barrier for you, and anxiety is something that can be managed. With consistent practice and a consistently calm mindset, you CAN do this.

I would not be surprised if your busy lifestyle contributed to your anxiety. You have a LOT going on. Do you have adequate time for sleep and relaxation?

I don't believe in predetermined fates but you CAN indeed turn this into a blessing. This is time for you to rest, study and improve your marketability by picking up volunteer positions and going to job fairs so that when you do return to nursing school you are head and shoulders above the rest.

I am going to PM ya in a few minutes :)

[tkluxen]

Thank you very much for your response and advice. No, I didn't have a lot of time for rest and relaxation while in school. I wish we could afford for me to not have to work, but sadly it just isn't an option. I am currently taking classes that I can apply towards my BSN while I am out, so at least I'm doing SOMETHING! Thank you again.

[zoey88]

if you were accepted into the program you are smart enough. I suck at math so i do math drills just to get into the habit of doing the problems correctly. I would use your time off to bond with your family and do tons of math drills any kind of dosage calculations you can get your hands on do them and soon it'll be second nature for you. good luck =]