Am I the only one who enjoys working with fetal demises?

Specialties NICU


I would like to know if anyone else out there has found a calling in working with fetal demise babies and their families. I really enjoy working with the babies and their families to make memories and give the parents a chance to "parent" their child. I work in postpartum/nursery/nicu-mostly couplet care. I want to hear from those nurses who actually request to work with these patients. I know we all have passions in our jobs-thats why we are doing them. This happens to be my passion. :)

renerian, BSN, RN

5,693 Posts

Specializes in MS Home Health.

I wish I could have had you for a nurse when I had my miscarriages. Granted the baby was not born then died but it is nice to know people want to help us parents who lost children. I like working with the terminally ill. So glad that everyone likes something different.

Hats off to you,



208 Posts

I've never gone out of my way to ask for a fetal demise patient or to care for a baby we all expected would die on my shift, however, when circumstances occurred that I was the nurse of such patients I considered it a blessing for me.

I found I have a tremendous amount of compassion and empathy in these situations and give my 110% to make this most difficult time as meaningful and bittersweet as possible for the parents and family to deal with. Whether it's preparing items for the family to use to remember their baby or helping them be physically comfortable while they cuddle their dying baby, or whatever is needed, I always do my absolute best for them and feel like it's my human duty to share in their grief and pain.

It's very draining emotionally for me but I never shun the responsibilities. I believe the universe (God) sends us the people and experiences in life we need to help our souls grow, and helping care for patients and families during some of their most emotionally trying times feels like my soul is stretching and growing along with theirs.

I hope you will be able to continue with your calling and are able to help in wonderful ways. I also hope your compassion and example will help show others how they can help families through these situations so that when you aren't around at least your knowledge will be.

Thanks for the enlightening post. It helped to remind me of one of the reasons I love nursing so very, very much.

unikuelady, RN

141 Posts

Thank You Tiki Torch for your posting. I needed to hear what you had to say. Although I enjoy working with these families, it does get to me emotionally each and every time. This week was especially difficult. FOUR demises in one shift. TWO of which there was NO possibility for the parents to see-let alone hold their babies. I felt helpless in their grief. :(

mother/babyRN, RN

11 Articles; 1,587 Posts

Specializes in cardiac, diabetes, OB/GYN.

I know what you mean when you say you enjoy fetal demises...It isn't that you 'enjoy" them, but you are able to incorporate your nursing and your humanity to bring a grieving family together and make their child a person in their eyes...I seem to be the one who connects in that situation also...But afterwards, I am emotionally worn out...Still, I think I make a difference and I think you do as well, so I understand what you mean .......

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