Am I not cut out for this?

[Atownshend]

I transferred to the ER last May after working nightshift on a cardiovascular PCU for 5 years. I really love the change of pace. It's super crazy but in so many ways less stressful than the floor because you don't know what's coming... you deal with it as it comes rather than carrying tasks A-Z on your shoulders until they are done all 12 hours. For a while there I felt proud of my job for the first time in a long time. I have a 2 year old at home have been working per diem once a week so I can be a stay at home mom while still keeping my skills and make enough to pay the mortgage every month. I don't want to work more than I have to until I have another child and both children are in school.

Recently, though, I was pulled into the office for a sit down with my supervisor who made me sign an action plan committing to working 2 days a week for the next 6 weeks to "increase my exposure to certain patient populations" and "reduce my dependence on ancillary staff" and then meet again to see how things are going. This presumably coming up because the medic for our team was taken for triage for the day and I had a patient that needed an IV that I had stuck twice (our hospital policy is each person only gets two tries). All the nurses on our team were in rooms and it was a ghost town so I called our charge 3 times regarding the IV which she said she would get taken care of and never did, and then went to the supervisor with concerns that I couldn't handle my team. I can't really argue with some of their logic, I don't work very often so I don't get much exposure to stroke alerts, STEMI alerts, or codes. I pull my weight on most days but on days like that one I get behind and struggle a bit, and if I feel really in the weeds I ask for help, but I do try to help others whenever I feel ahead of the game to balance things out. I had put the struggling times down to growing pains and figured that it may take me a little longer than if I was working full time but eventually I would get there. Seems like they need an accelerated timetable...I feel like they would like me to work more on a more permanent basis and that will be the conclusion of this little exercise. I know I shouldn't reduce it to this level but the bottom line of what I'm hearing from them is "work harder and faster and don't ask for help". Am I not cut out for this? Can I not become proficient in this very different area without more of a time commitment than I'm willing to give? It's been a long time since I've been made to feel so insecure in my profession. Should I jump ship and revisit emergency nursing when I can dedicate more time to it? I'll probably be looking into a job outside of the hospital should they strong arm me out...any ideas on what nursing jobs work for nurses with their career somewhat on the back burner?

[Momnurse41]

I've been an ER nurse in level 2 Trauma Center for over 6 years and there are still days that are overwhelming. I also have 4 kids at home (youngest is 2) including one with developmental disabilities. My solution has been to work weekend nights, allowing me to play stay at home mom during the week while my husband works. I don't know if it's an option for you but it might help your skills develop and put your managers at ease. Good luck to you while you work through this.