Allnurses has given me clarity

Published Sep 22, 2016

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8 Posts

In my young adult life, I have had the opportunity to experience a lot. But I have never experience anything so negative in my life. I hate to say this, but it wasn't until I became a nursing student, and nursing graduate that I learned that this career isn't for me. I have learned that a lot of nurses are cruel and ignorant. Sadly, during Clinicals I received my first dose. When I found a job working as a student nurse, I was served a second helping, and allnurses.com served the lethal cocktail that turn me off to the entire nursing idea. First off, allow me to describe my short comings that I faced when I began my nursing school journey. When I decided that I was ready to buckle down and began school, I was determined and I was serious. I completed my assignments and maintained a 3.5 gpa. Unfortunately my father had a stroke. I wasn't working because of my school schedule and cash was tight because my mom was the sole provider. However, I didn't allow that to stop me. I continued to got to school diligently. I comepleted all assignments and put my best foot forward. I didn't allow my personal family life to deter me and give up. I remained strong for myself and my family. Earlier this year, I was reared ended and that resulted in a career-threatening back injury. The fact that I was without a car for 2 months and injured, I remained dedicated and focused. I continued to have an optimistic outlook. During the ordeal, I never missed a day. My school was over 50 miles from my home. But I remained confident and I wasn't going to allow anyone or thing keep me from my life long dream. Shortly after receiving my car back, I was smacked from behind, AGAIN! This time was different though, my car over turned. Determined to not miss a day of class I made it in time to take my hesi exam. Injured, shaken up, car totaled. I was 2 months away from graduation, I wasn't going to allow anything to stop me. I struggled through my final weeks. During my leadership class, I was told that my cousin passed away. I was heartbroken, insult to injury was that I couldn't say goodbye because my family was financially strapped for cash and we couldn't make it to Ohio. Then the following week my dad another debilitating stroke. The day after was admitted to the hospital, a close friend died of a 7 year battle with HIV. And the day before my final day of leadership, another cousin died riding his motorcycle. I wished him a happy birthday 3 days prior, and boasted about how I will make it to Ohio as soon as I took my boards. Unfortunately, I can never see him and he can not congratulate me as he said he would. Now I have graduated and gone through the pinning ceremony and stuck at a crossroad. I can't pay for my Pearson Vue NCLEX because I have nothing. I have no money, nothing to pawn, the settlement from my car accident is no where in sight. In times like this kids normally look to their parents. My mom doesn't have the money, and it breaks her heart that she can't help me. I explored every option that I had. When every originization in my area closer the door in my face, I still refused to give up. So I decided to create a kiva page. I felt like gofundme was not for me because once I take my exam I will have employment and I will not longer work PRN at the hospital, which is a joke. I only asked for a loan. I had every intention on returning the money. However, someone flagged my post as solicitation. And admin told me that I can't solicite another site on allnurses.com. But I find it funny how I stumbled upon another post from a few years ago where the subscriber from this site shared her gofundme page and was funded and never flagged. But why me. I have fought tooth and nail to get here. And that's what a fellow nurse does to another nurse. I will not say that I am ashamed. I just see nurses are not who I thought they were. My dream now tarnished. Thank you All Nurses for your support.