A Priest, a Preacher, a Rabbi, and a Bear

Published May 20, 2004

FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I

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Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..

A priest, a preacher and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of

Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two

or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made

the comment that preaching to people isn't really that hard. A real

challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do a seven-day experiment. They would each go into the woods, find a bear, and preach to it.

A week later, they were all together again to discuss the experience.

Father O'Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, and was on crutches, and had various bandages, went first. "Well," he said, in a fine Irish brogue, 'Ey wint oot into th' woods to find me a bear. Oond when Ey fund him Ey began to read to him from the Baltimorre Catechism. Well, that bear wanted naught to do with' me and begun to slap me aboot. So I quick grabbed me holy water and, THE SAINTS BE PRAISED, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is cooming oot next wik to give him fierst communion und

confierrmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he proclaimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle... WE DUNK! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to him from God's HOOOOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. I SAY NO! He wanted NOTHING to do with me. So I took HOOOLD of him and we began to rassle.

We rassled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we come to

a crick. So I quick DUNK him and BAPTIZE his hairy soul. An' jus like you

sez, he wuz gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the week in fellowship,

feasting on God's HOOOOLY word."

Then they both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction, with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. The rabbi looked up and said, "Oy! Preaching to the bear was easy, but he got a bit touchy about the circumcision."

CHEERS!