A Dying Persons Tear

What Members Are Saying (AI-Generated Summary)

Members are discussing the presence of tears in the eyes of loved ones moments before death, particularly in the context of hospice care. Some users believe it is a physiological response and not related to emotions, while others express concern about the lack of training and awareness among hospice workers. There are also personal stories shared about witnessing tears before death and the impact it had on loved ones.

Very curious about something. I'm new to inpatient hospice and have only had 4 deaths so far. Two of the patients had a single tear. One of those patients, the niece saw her previously unresponsive aunt open her eyes wide focusing on something in front of her (not looking at her niece) then took her last few breaths. That's when I arrived I saw her tear. The other nonresponsive patient that passed did not have anyone in the room at the time, so I don't know if he opened his eyes or not, but did have the same single tear. Is this common, and do you think they are seeing something so beautiful it causes a tear, or do you think it's caused by fear/pain? Thank you in advance for your responses. ?

I came across this blog as a result of my sister dying a few days of an agonizing and painful battle with bone cancer. A few seconds before she died she had tears in her eyes, starting on side and then the other. Her sudden change for the worst was unexpected and she was unprepared in many areas including family preparations. I know my sister had so many regrets including her treatment. She never caught a break in her life. She died young and suffered all through her life. This really was heartbreaking along with watching her in so much pain and horrific breathing during the day. Her moaning and struggling to breathe was very hard to take. I worry now that I may get PTSD.

I was searching for some answers and this blog popped up first. I have read the comments from "supposed" hospice employees who made comments like "haven't seen this" or "it's a "coincidence". After becoming even more heartbroken and becoming further depressed after reading such comments, I began to seek further information.

I have to say though, please forgive me in advance for being blunt and having a bit of an angry tone. Firstly, in my research, it is VERY COMMON when someone is moments from death who has been ill for a long time to have tears seconds before they pass. This is a natural response by the body. There is no emotional or cognitive association to this. It IS a physiological response.

I can only come to the following conclusions in regard to these comments where posters are writing that they never seen this before. My assumptions are that those who allegedly work in the field either haven't been in the industry very long, are on auto-pilot at work, are oblivious or lack any observation skills when dealing with the dying. If it's the latter, I really have to ask, "what are you really doing here"? Is this simply a job for you or are working here to help others? Are you blindly going on about your job without any care and attention and tuning everything out? That's not the kind of person I want to be assisting a loved one.

Secondly, to write "who really knows"? Well, is this comforting to the loved ones still alive? Science says tearing is a normal part of the dying process and the living should not read anything more into this. Regardless of your faith, if you have a faith, this kind of comment is not helpful whatsoever. The family is already in mourning and if they think in any way their loved one did not die in peace or has regrets, this may be one of the most traumatic events one can endure in their lives.

Thirdly, if someone dies in a hospice or who is receiving palliative care, the person has likely "left on their journey" soon after the heavy, heavy increase in narcotics to help the patient die more peacefully. The deep and struggling breaths is the body shutting down. The body becomes slowly colder and the the breathing between breaths become longer and longer until the both the heart and breathing stops.

Finally, based on some of the responses here, I am further disturbed by the lack of training given to palliative/hospice care employees in regards to the death process and what the loved ones may see. When we are told "hearing is the last to go". The real question I have is, "when is that"? Before the last breath? After a period of heavy sedation?

I truly hope my post helps others not feel guilty or sad about their loved one should they see them teary eyed moments before death.

My mom had the tears in both her eyes before she died. Her eyes were closed as she was comatose. I knew exactly what it meant. She didn't want to die. It's as simple as that. They were tears of pain.

I have worked hospice for several years and have noticed a tear on many of the patients. Usually just in the corner of the eye, not actually running down the face. I have always wondered about this, I know it's not a coincidence because it happens frequently, . Sometimes i am with them at the time of death holding their hand while they pass I know they went peacefully.

My second brother passed away 19 hours ago. He had a few tears in the last moments. It bothered me to wonder if he was sad. To my relief, I found the following information at Webmd.com. Hope it helps all of us who are grieving (What to Expect When Your Loved One Is Dying) :

Signs That Death Is Near continued...

When death is within days or hours, your loved one may:

  • Not want food or drink
  • Stop peeing and having bowel movements
  • Grimace, groan, or scowl from pain

You may notice their:

  • Eyes tear or glaze over
  • Pulse and heartbeat are irregular or hard to feel or hear
  • Body temperature drops
  • Skin on their knees, feet, and hands turns a mottled bluish-purple (often in the last 24 hours)
  • Breathing is interrupted by gasping and slows until it stops entirely

If they're not already unconscious, your loved one may drift in and out. But they probably can still hear and feel.

At the End

In the last days or hours, your loved one may become restless and confused and have hallucinations so upsetting they may cry out, strike out, or try to climb out of bed. Stay with them. Try to keep them calm with soothing music and gentle touch. Sometimes medication helps.

The room should be well lit, but not bright. Make it as quiet and peaceful as possible. Constantly assure them that you're there.

Ironically, a loved one may also become clear-headed in their final hours.

Specializes in med-surg, med oncology, hospice.

I have seen this tear often on my med floor for those patients I was at their bedside when they died. I also saw it 2 years ago when my own mother passed away gently at home. I would gently wipe the tear away, but I never thought of anything about it except as a physical proponent of death. The tears I saw never left the eye to run down the face. The tear was in the inner or outer canthus, depending on gravity. The ones who had the tear had a quiet death usually on a morphine gtt and an ativan gtt if it was in-hospital. My mother was ready to die for 10 years and vocally would express this wish. I was surprised by your question as I had never thought of it as anything else. To answer your question, I would say it is a relief to them that death is happened and they can now join their parents, siblings and other family members.

I am thinking of so many people as I write this. The final realization of passage, the acknowledgement of all that was, the connectivity of the two, to leave all that is familiar (good and bad) and step beyond; could bring a tear and possibly a smile.

I am not a health care provider, but I stumbled on this post when I was searching for "Lacrima mortis". I am sharing my experiencing with witnessing my dying Mom's tears (two -- one from each eye). Maybe it will help someone.

In the final hour before my precious Mother took her last breath two months ago I saw a single tear stream from one of her eyes, and then two seconds later there was a single tear from her other eye. She was my best friend and buddy, and to this day, I struggle to come to terms as to what the tears signified. My Mother was in hospital at the time, and they had given her strong morphine dosage about 6 few hours earlier because the cancer was more rapidly finishing its onslaught and distress was setting in -- she had been uncontrollably bleeding to death internally for quite some time and her organs were shutting down. It broke my heart when I was alone with her and could not help her when she weakly requested, but without anger or panic and without gasping, "Will someone please help me? I cannot breathe."

Shortly after the nurse gave her the morphine in the early afternoon, and although my Mom's eyes remained open until she took her last breath, the nurse told me that although my Mom will not be able to talk or move any longer because of the morphine, she will still be able to hear. I sat with my sweet Mom over the next and last few hours, holding her hand and praying aloud, and thanking her for everything and anything she did for me -- from braiding my hair when I was a small child, to always saying just what I needed to hear and comfort me as an adult when the world and day's events seemed to come crashing in. It was in the evening a few hours later while I and now also other family members were by her bedside, that I saw those two precious tears -- I was dumbstruck by the sight of the tears. To this day, I hope they were not tears from pain, fear, or sadness, and while I do believe she knew we were there at her side and could feel our touch, I hope and pray the tears were not because she wanted so very much to say or communicate something to us but realized she could not do so. It is my hope that those two tears that she shed were because she started to see deceased loved ones smiling faces beckoning her, and an amazingly beautiful, bright light that shone on the path that was leading her to see God who was drawing her close and welcoming her to live forever in Heaven.

Those two tears often come to my mind, and oh how I wish I could know why they were shed and what message they were meant to deliver to those who witnessed them. To allow other family members to be close, in the evening I sat at the foot of the hospital bed with my hands on her feet and calves -- it is from that view that I witnessed those last tears and about an hour later her last breath. I still regret that it was not until I was driving home that I realized and wished that I had had the mindset when I saw the tears earlier, to immediately get up and either kiss the tears or kiss my finger and wipe the tears away. But as I said, I was dumbstruck at the time. So to my forever-regret, I (unintentionally) never let her know (either by touch or verbally) that "I see the tears Mom, I see the tears.", and that thought makes me cry each time it comes to mind. I will never forget the moment her heart stopped and mine kept beating, and I can never forget those last two tears that my hero shed. I've never heard of 'tear cloths' until I read this thread's posts -- what a beautiful thought and treasure.

My Uncle is passing over terminal liver cancel , as he is estranged from his previous wives I became his support person and carer over the 2.5 year journey , my uncle is in a very unresponsive state and we have him at home caring for him , today whilst I was sitting with him I was stroking his head and speaking soothing words to him in Austrian like my grandmother would have done .. his eyes both open one more than the other, his face on the left iis droopy but as I was speaking to him I noticed his eye the right one which is more open seemed to well up and then a single tear rolled down. It broke my heart I try not read anything into it but I know he could hear me. Do you think he was responding to me or I was his eye trying to clean itself .. he hasn't blinked for a long time.

Hi so Ive been thinking about my mom alot

My mom died 8/1/11 she had a brain aneurysm and was on life support she was only 49 years old

There was nothing more the doctors could do and i had to the the decision to take her off life support

I was only 27 years old

I remember crying and telling my mom to plz wake up not to leave me because she was all i had and was my best friend. I clearly remember to this day looking at her knowing she would not wake up crying to her and I seen in the corner of her eye a tear come down her face. I know she heard me. I feel she did. I made her sad because she didnt want to see me that way

Thats my belief. Its going on 7 years and im still grieving my mom.

Im just here looking to see what other thought of a loved ones tear when there gone... Thank u

A dying person tear is called "lacrima mortis." My brother shed one single tear in his left eye while taking his last breath. It broke my heart because it happened when I told the nurse that he had been getting better and could have survived the cancer if it were not intervened by the infection medication which I believed caused damages to his liver and killed him. I thought it was tear of sadness and regret. I did a search online. There is no conclusive evidence whether it was emotional or physiological because the tear sample was too small for the analysis.

source: LACRIMA MORTIS: THE TEAR OF DEATH

My father passed away one month ago tonight. I was with him when he passed. As he passed, he had a tear emerge in both eyes. They did not run down his face, merely collected in the corners. Having lung cancer, his lung had collapsed. After the collapse, he had been on a pain pump for 5 days and his breathing was very rapid and finally he just gave out. I do not believe he was in physical pain. But I do believe that he did not want to go and realized that he was. I don't think he was very conscious, but I do believe he could hear and feel. I am 100% convinced he was sad, and all that he could do left was to shed those small tears.

I am comforted that he was no longer struggling to live, but I am and will always be sad because he was struggling, and couldn't fight anymore. He was always strong willed and actually lived with the collapsed lung for 5 days. I am sorry to say that any doctor or medical professional that says its a natural body function is just not telling the truth.

Specializes in author.

Mama was suffering with dementia. She was 93 and had been in pretty good health until her 92 year.

Six months before she passed away, she kept saying, "Remember the Last Tear Drop." I was puzzled. As inveterate readers our entire lives, I thought she was referring to a book title. In researching the title, I found heart-rending country western songs, but no ISBN of a published book. I set the comment aside, figuring it was part of her dementia. Several more times she mentioned the Last Tear Drop reference before her mind completely spiraled away.

Over the months, I puzzled about the reference, believing there was more to it than I understood. Seconds before she expired the meaning became clear. As I was gently massaging her neck she grasped my hand and pressed our joined hands tight into my chest. At that moment, a single tear rolled down her cheek and then another. Her blind eyes were open as she whispered her final “I love you” then her breathing stopped. I felt her soul ascend her frail body to meet with those who were waiting for her.

I think she had some forewarning of what to expect at death. If you are as lucky as I, to have held your loved one as they passed into the arms of God; I hope you will feel only the love they were transmitting to you at the end. I whispered to her . . . “Until we meet again Mama.”

I am currently working on a book to help others understand the ravages of dementia and how I worked through the challenges presented by a person who thought her independence was limitless.

~Blessings and Best Wishes~

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