Career Path Advice - Start School Now Or...?

Nursing Students Pre-Nursing

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Hello,

This is my first post. I'm seeking advice from current nurses/nursing students regarding a career path dilemma I'm having. Thank you in advance for reading (I know this will be long - I always want to tell the WHOLE story), and I look forward to hearing your perspectives!

Here is my situation: I am 32 years old, recently married. I currently work with disabled people. I have experience as a teacher, HR Manager, and EMT, and I have a CPT-I certificate and AHA for the Healthcare Provider. I just finished my nursing school prereqs at community college. I have been working on preparing myself for nursing school for the past year and a half, and have been really excited and motivated.

I decided to become a nurse because I wasn't interested in the career trajectories of being a teacher or an HR Manager, and I have always been interested in healthcare and medicine. I want a lifetime career that will grow and develop with me, that I can feel proud of, and that I can advance and grow in. Originally, I wanted to become a Physician's Assistant or Occupational Therapist, but in my state (CA) that schooling costs between $80,000-$120,000. I am unwilling to go into that much debt at this stage in my life. So I decided to go for a BSN at a state university for a more reasonable $20k.

I am in the process of applying for an Accelerated BSN program. This is a very competitive program with a long application process - I apply this month, go through interviews and testing until spring of 2015, and the earliest I could possibly start class is Summer 2015. That's if I get in on my first application attempt. If I do get in and start right away, I would finish in Fall 2016. So, reasonably, I could probably start working around January 2017. That's more than two years from now.

Like I said, I'm recently married. My husband and I have been talking about starting a family. We decided to start with at least one child, maybe two. My husband makes good money, but he has a ton of student debt himself and we live in an expensive city. We are not in a position to have a child right now. We talked about starting to try to conceive right after nursing school, so I could perhaps work 7 months to a year (depending on how long it takes me to get pregnant) full-time as a nurse before taking maternity leave. Then, after maternity leave, I could return to work part-time.

Here is the dilemma. My husband is worried that by going into nursing as a career, I am signing myself up for a life of stress, health risks, long days of overtime, never being at home, and always working holidays. He is also worried that I may be so busy with advancing my education and career that a good time to have a baby never comes up until it is too late. I confess, I have seen plenty of burnt-out nurses and I am also afraid of becoming trapped into a crushing, joy-draining schedule of nights and weekends.

I have been telling my husband (and myself) that, as an EMT, I worked three 12-hour shifts per week (36 hours = full-time) and LOVED that schedule, because it meant I had four days off per week. I also tell him (and myself) that there are plenty of opportunities a BSN will open to me that wouldn't involve working holidays and 12-hour shifts. For example, because of my experience with disabled people, couldn't I become a Case Management Nurse with a Regional Center? Or a Public Health Nurse working for the county? I have always preferred to NOT work under powerful stress and pressure; I am an over-achiever, so having a lot of pressure put on me just makes me force myself to perform to standard no matter what the cost on my health, happiness, and personal life. Am I crazy for even thinking that I could find a job as a nurse without facing a crushing workload and tons of overtime?

Also - am I crazy to be going into nursing school in my last 4-5 years of fertility? Since we know we want to have children sometime soon, would it be smarter for me to keep working with disabled people for now (making very little money) until my husband's salary has increased to the point where we can have a child, then have a child, and THEN go to nursing school? That could be some 6-7 years down the road...

Have you ever been in my situation, wondering whether nursing school is right for you, and whether now is the right time for nursing school? What did you decide to do, and how did you make your decision? Do you have any advice for me? Do you think my plans and goals are realistic? Do you think the reality of working as a nurse will be a living hell for a person like me?

Please tell me your thoughts!

-Mag

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Specializes in NICU.

I'm 34 and I have two sons (11 and 12 years old). I'm also a widow and had almost no help with my kids. So I put off going to school. I am now done with my pre-reqs and will be starting a nursing program in January. So while our situations are different, I can understand your concerns. Unless you have a ton of support it will be very hard to go to school while the kids are young. I think that getting your education now is important. Maybe you can start an associate's program so you don't have to wait so long?!? Just an idea. You can always start working as a nurse with your associate's and then continue on with your bachelor's. Here's something to think about: Do you think you'd regret not getting your degree? If so, go ahead and pursue your career. Either way, it seems like you have a big decision to make and will definitely need your partner's support. Good luck!

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Specializes in PACU.

Honestly, I think nursing school would be exponentially harder after having children than before. You will have to take in to consideration your studies, classes, and making sure the children are cared for when either you or your husband are not home or able to care for them. It think it ups the stress of nursing school about a thousand.

Just remember that FMLA doesn't go into effect until after you have worked at least 12 months at your employer.

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To address some of your concerns, I think working as an RN in CA is an incredible job for a mother: low patient ratios, among the highest pay in the country (RN's in the town I am from average $108,000 a year) and an extremely flexible schedule. You can work per diem, make a lot per hour and turn down shifts you don't want, or as you stated, work from home as a Case Manager. All of these reasons are why I decided to become an RN. I am currently in my first semester of a BSN program (also recently married and am 26). I think BSN is the only way to go because in 2.5 years I will have my RN and BSN. You would spend almost that same amount of time in an ADN program and then still need to go back for your Bachelor's. Personally, I didn't want to get caught waiting around in CA to get into an RN school. My GPA and test scores were very competitive, but it seemed like each school was so different in what they required, I would have had to wait until all my pre-reqs were completely finished before applying to a lot of the BSN programs that were close to me and it would have set me back about a year probably. I am nearly done with my first semester and my friends from pre-reqs are only now applying to RN programs. My husband and I moved to Nashville for me to complete my education and it has been the best choice we ever made. Don't get me wrong, we will likely move back after I graduate and get a year or two of experience (or finish grad school), but my program is incredible and I live near countless major hospitals. It is so much easier to get your first RN job here. Part of my consideration for this decision was wanting to get school out of the way as quickly as possible so that we could start a family sooner. I would also possibly like to go to Grad school, which would mean starting a family around 30-32. Now, I know this path may not work for everyone, so as far as your dilemma goes with having children goes, you will hear things across the board. For me, RN school has been easier than pre-reqs because I now have this base of background knowledge (I'm not working full-time in a demanding career like I was before - I was a news reporter through my pre-reqs), and you are surrounded by professors and peers who all have the same goal: to get through and become the best RN you can. I would never have a baby during RN school, but a lot of my peers have young children and they are doing fine. With a lot of advanced planning and a good support system you could totally do it. Personally, I would not wait until 35 or 36 to try for my first (not saying you shouldn't because this is a very personal decision). I would be devastated if for some reason I couldn't conceive. If you are in a spot financially to start trying for your first now, I would go for it. You have some time before you start RN school and maybe you can get in a good rhythm with your family and then start. I also had a friend that had a baby during her RN program and she truly seemed miserable about the whole thing. Her husband was supportive, but it was just lousy timing and I don't think she was able to enjoy RN school or her baby for that last semester (when she had hers). That being said, her program was supportive and she made it through on time with her class, passed the NCLEX and is now working as an RN in CA. Her and her husband did not plan this, but they made it work.

The one thing I would say for sure is BE SURE. When I decided to become an RN it was something I took a few months to really research, talk to people about and talk with my now husband about. He has had to make a lot of sacrifices for my RN education and honestly it has been a factor that has made a difference. I literally would not be in my program right now without that support. Whatever you decide, you need to make sure your husband is 100% on board and supportive. Even with that support, it's challenging. You will be busy studying constantly, meeting with people on campus and just generally a stress case most of the time. My husband is on board because he knows this is my passion and it's going to allow me to have the career I dream of making a difference, while still having time for our family and earning a good living. At the same time, even with my grad school ambitions, I won't put off having kids too long because I know he has dreams, too, and having kids while he is in his early to mid thirties is part of that dream. You could wait and you may end up having a tough time getting pregnant, or it may be just fine. You have to decide which one you will be best able to live with without regrets. Maybe when you are an RN, have your career and life set, you will be a better mom. These are the tough decisions!

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Specializes in ICU.

I am going to address your issues one at a time. First, there is never a "right" time to have a baby. You will always need more money, you will want to change careers, life changes constantly. I thought with PCOS and endo it was going to take me a long time to get pregnant. Turns out, we got pregnant the very first month. Talk about a surprise!! If you want to have a baby, do it!! You are also not in your last 4-5 years of fertility. People get pregnant well into their 40's all of the time. I know you hear that clock ticking but honestly I wouldn't worry about that.

But you do have to decide if you want school now or later. You don't want to get pregnant and have the baby while in nursing school and try to come back and juggle that and a baby. It will be too hard. My boyfriend wants us to get pregnant. I told him the earliest we would try is next Sept. I have to graduate school first. That is my priority right now. I don't want to have to drop out and try to go back. I won't do it.

I do have an 8 year old son. I waited for him to be in school full time before starting my journey of going back to school. That's just me though. My exhusband and I decided I would stay home with him and I don't regret it a single bit. I just didn't want to be home while he is in school. He's got his friends and is starting his little life so now I have to start mine again. My ex would have loved it if I would have stayed home to be his maid and cook, but that is not me. I have always loved medicine and decided to go for it. My son is very proud of me.

Nursing school and the job itself is very stressful. I think though all jobs are at some point. You are responsible for people's lives. That's all there is to it. Sometimes the job is life or death. I'm sure sometimes there will be some overtime. Not like you can leave in the middle of a code, but I think there is always a balance and it just depends if you can make it work. I'm lucky that I have great support with the people around me who always are there to help me out when I need it. If you have a strong support system you can probably make it work. It just takes lots of careful planning and making sure that both you and your husband are on board.

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Thank you, I DO think I would regret not pursuing my goal to become a nurse, and I have decided to make getting my associate's degree into my Plan B. So I will apply to 2 BSN programs and 2 ASN programs. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

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