Another one o' them essay-review type things

  1. Hi ladies and gentlemen! I got accepted to my nursing program! So now it's time to compete for scholarships and fun things like that. Could I get some thoughts on my application essay?

    The prompt is: a 500-word essay defining career/educational goals, the benefits of a college education, and how the student meets the criteria. (Basically, the criteria is having a GPA over 2.5, so - fair warning - I didn't include a lot of detail about that one.)

    If I wanted a more interesting job, I certainly got it.

    I had worked as an administrative assistant for an inpatient hospice facility for a year and a half. This position entailed doing homework for my nursing school pre-requisites and perusing Facebook (the ten-bed unit didn't produce enough paperwork to occupy my days). Although the extra study time allowed me to excel in my classes, earning me a 3.6 GPA, I was bothered by the insignificance of what I was doing, and it showed in my ambivalence about my future. However, as luck would have it, the end of summer classes and my employer's need for a reliable CNA aligned to give me a proper nudge. What started as a logical, unemotional decision to become a nursing assistant so I could live "a day in the life" has become a deep part of who I am. It is also sufficient evidence, for me at least, that I am headed in the right direction.

    As a hospice aide, I have seen disease, aging, and suffering carried out to their extremes. I have held a woman's hand as she cried through the realization that she was no longer strong enough to stand. I have had to check my own frustrations with elderly patients whose dementia cannot afford them the ability to converse, eat, or control their movements. I have felt the guilt of bathing and repositioning people who are in such agony that they would rather remain curled into a ball of limbs and linens than be moved. I hate this part of my job, and I hope to use my career as a nurse to keep my future patients and their loved ones from ever experiencing these things.

    Luckily, I find happiness and purpose in this work too. Caring for a patient always brings me into a new family, and that brings the opportunity to earn their acceptance and trust. As my shifts tick by, I become less of an interruption reeking of hand sanitizer and more of a calming presence who has the ability to make them feel better. A common hospice mantra is, "It's about how you live," and I think of my role in this last leg of my patients' journeys as taking care of their needs so they can enjoy their final days with their loved ones. For each passing I have witnessed in my four months as a hospice aide, I have become more courageous, kinder, and stronger, and I am able to be a better caregiver to the next people that come to our door.

    I can confidently say that my heart is in the right place for me to take the next step and become a registered nurse. Although I love my job right now, the curiosity I have since developed makes it impossible to stop where I am. With the proper training and the opportunity to use my knowledge, I believe I could grow to be a great nurse. I have heard so many of the RNs I work with now, including the unit's manager, speak highly of [my nursing program] - so what better place to start than here? I know that the character and wisdom I build during this time will help me serve anyone, anywhere, and I eagerly anticipate my chance to be a part of this wonderful profession.

    OK, y'all, rip it apart! I'm ready!
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    About NightNerd, ASN, RN

    Joined: Aug '12; Posts: 669; Likes: 1,745