Recently, my daughter asked me if I ever got sad when patients died. I said yes. She asked me if I ever cried and I said rarely. I told her that usually the patient was so sick by the time they die that it feels almost like a relief that their suffering had ended.
I thought about a couple of recent deaths and realized that I had never known the person when they were well. Both of these patients had been dealing with their illnesses for many years. Even though I knew them over two years, they were still pretty sick by that time, going through 4th and 5th rounds of tx etc.
I struck me that it might not be as sad for me since I had never know them as vibrant healthy people.