Charting Chuckles

U.S.A. Ohio

Published

These are actual entries made in medical charts:

1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

8. The patient refused autopsy.

9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

11. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40-pound weight gain in the past three days.

12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

13. She is numb from her toes down.

14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

15. The skin was moist and dry.

16. Occasional constant infrequent headaches.

17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

18. Rectal examination revealed a normal-size thyroid.

19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

24. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

25. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

26. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

27. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen, and I agree.

28. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

29. Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities.

What other funnies have you seen?!!?

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:roll :chuckle :roll :roll :roll

Thanks, I laughed so hard my sides hurt!! I needed a good laugh!!!!

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BTW, my friend just graduated & didn't find to be funny, But I did:

A graduate nurse looks for blood on a bandage hoping they will get to change it; an experienced nurse knows a little bit of blood won't hurt anyone.

A graduate nurse looks for a chance to 'work with the family'; an experienced nurse avoids the family.

A graduate nurse expects meds and supplies to be delivered on time; An experienced nurse expects them never to be delivered at all.

A graduate nurse will spend days bladder training an incontinent patient; an experienced nurse will insert a foley.

A graduate nurse doesn't find these funny; an experienced nurse does.

Looking back, I was way to eager for more WORK!!!:)

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omg....... loved this thread.. and how many times do we chart leaving words out.. or get interrupted, charting becomes jumbled, without puncuations...

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Welcome verena :)

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Those were great.. Thanks for the laughs..:chuckle

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One of my all time favorites was found while doing chart reviews....

Dr. Blank here to see patient today alert and oriented to all spheres:eek:

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I need a copy of this for my floor's joke board!

Wow, hillarious.:chuckle

JacelRN

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Those are great! Thanks a bunch

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