The youngest new mother's you've seen - page 3

by PeepnBiscuitsRN

8,609 Unique Views | 29 Comments

We just recently had a 14 year old on our unit. I'm sure for some of you that's not uncommon, and I was warned that in our hosptial especially, it's not uncommon (I think there might have been a 13 year old one time too, some... Read More


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    Quote from ChristianLane20
    I had my son at 16 and I am now IN nursing school. Not all teen mothers are trashy, lazy, and immature (although the spongebob thing is hilarious!). At 14 I had the maturity of some 30 year olds (I'm somewhat of an "old soul"). Lets face it almost ALL teenagers have sex. Actually I was one of the last girls that I knew to lose their virginity (at 16, yes I am aware that that is horrible but he is a sweetie and I knew that and... hey... I married him soon after and were still going strong!) I remember that most of my nurses were snobby and judgemental while I was in the hospital and OH LORD the lactation nurse... (she obviously thought she should be over the "Who gets to have babies and who doesn't" town council!) There was however this one nurse who was SUPER nice and understanding of my situation. She asked questions and was oober non-judgemental and she is honestly what inspired me to become a nurse! My experience with my teenage pregnancy not only gave me my beautiful, healthy and perfectly fine (thank you very much) son, it made me want to go into a field where I can be that inspiration to other girls! I always knew I wanted to be a mother (maybe not THAT soon) and nonetheless God put my little Noah bear in my life for a reason. I'm a strong mother and better at it than some "accepted" mothers!
    I'm in a similar situation, I'm 19 and always wanted kids, though not this soon, but I am in a stable relationship with an amazing man, we both have jobs and our own place, which is honestly better than someone the 20 and 30 somethings I know having babies! Its a blessing I got pregnant now, with my health problems and reproductive issues I might not have been physically capable of concieving and carrying a baby to term safely later in life. I do hate the idea that anyone under 25 is an unfit mother, but the nurses on this board all sound like angels, non judgemental and stuff.

    The pregnant children break my heart I can't bring myself to judge a pregnant twelve year old. At that age he idea of consent is just...I wonder how they got to that place? Rape? I know not all young girls who get pregnant are pregnant because of rape, but at the same time I know many girls who were "willing" but the reason they were willing (and knew about sex) at such a young age were heart breaking, they were often victims of sexual, physical, or emotional abuse or neglect. Some where along the line these girls were broken, and its sad.

    This thread does make me happy though: its great to see so many nurses who see things like this and help their patients through it instead of making a scared child feel worse. Thank you guys for being amazing, this is a heart breaking yet inspirational thread. I hope someday I can be like you guys!
    babygyrlktm1985 likes this.
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    13. So, so sad. When I was in middle school my 12 year old classmate had a baby.....
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    The youngest I've seen is 14. She was just in last month. Turns out her step-father was the dad and they were having an affair. We think the mother knew, but once the teen admitted it to her PP nurse, the mom finally decided to call the police. They came up to the floor to arrest him and then the teen was screaming at her mother about ruining her life and her baby's life. Awful!

    While we don't see a lot of very young mothers, we see a lot of very immature mothers with several children at a very young age. I take care of a lot of 20-23 y/o's who are 4/3 or 3/2 when they come in. I know they are low income and I wonder how they will manage, particularly when I see how some of those couples interact. It makes me sad.

    FWIW, I see a lot of moms in labor watching cartoons. Sometimes I chalk it up to nothing else being on or missing the older kids who are at home while mom is in labor, but sometimes it is just that the woman is immature, no matter her age.
  4. 2
    Quote from LLLovely
    The youngest I've seen is 14. She was just in last month. Turns out her step-father was the dad and they were having an affair. We think the mother knew, but once the teen admitted it to her PP nurse, the mom finally decided to call the police. They came up to the floor to arrest him and then the teen was screaming at her mother about ruining her life and her baby's life. Awful!

    While we don't see a lot of very young mothers, we see a lot of very immature mothers with several children at a very young age. I take care of a lot of 20-23 y/o's who are 4/3 or 3/2 when they come in. I know they are low income and I wonder how they will manage, particularly when I see how some of those couples interact. It makes me sad.

    FWIW, I see a lot of moms in labor watching cartoons. Sometimes I chalk it up to nothing else being on or missing the older kids who are at home while mom is in labor, but sometimes it is just that the woman is immature, no matter her age.
    Haha I would really tickle your spidey senses then--I'm 32 and still watch cartoons!! But my husband draws comic books for a living so we're going to be children forever
  5. 0
    Sometimes cartoons are the only thing worth watching on tv lol I still like to watch Looney Tunes and Scooby Doo and I am fast approaching 30!
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    No affair here. 14 can't consent. That's abuse!
  7. 0
    Quote from rn/writer
    I took care of a 15 yo. It was her second child. Her sister had been in several months earlier. She was 14.

    Mom's reaction? She was thrilled to have to a couple of grandbabies to fuss over. When she'd had the older girl fifteen years earlier, she wasn't ready to be a mom. But now she was physically and mentally and emotional ready to function as a parent.

    I often see families where parenting skips a generation. Grandma takes care of her daughter's child. Someday, that teen (now in her early thirties) will step in and care for her daughter's child. And so it goes.

    Not the best plan, but at least someone is taking care of the babies. Far worse are the girls who are on their own or who are dependent on people who don't really care about them or their children. Those are the ones I fear for.
    No, it is not the best plan, because some of those grandmothers who end up taking care of their daughter's children still have children to raise of their own. So grandma ends up being "mother" and "grandma." Some grandmas are not physically, financially, or emotionally able to do that, so grandma ends up dumping their darling newborn grandchildren on her other children when she gets tired or feed up. Nobody talks much about what these 12, 13, 14 year old "aunts" have to go through.

    I am speaking from experience. I was one of those 13 year old "aunts" and it was hard. I was up at midnight or 2 a. m. with a screaming baby when I had to be at school the next morning. If she acted up in public I was often blamed. I was expected to spend part of my babysitting money to help financially with this baby. I remember my mom once bought toys for her grandbaby when I clearly needed shoes. Even the shoe repair man said he could do nothing with them. When I asked her about buying me some shoes and showed her how raggety they were, she told me, "well, I'm not buying shoes today." I HAD TO GLUE THEM BACK TOGETHER!! Her father was a deadbeat completely, and at one time her mother wasn't much better.

    I don't know what the answer(s) to this is, but I just wanted to share a perspective.
  8. 1
    I know I am late at replying. However, usually when a 9, 10, 11, 12 y/o is pregnant, she was raped.
    DeLanaHarvickWannabe likes this.
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    I work on a pp floor and we have teen moms all the time. To the point were 16 is the norm. We have had ppl as young as 12.
  10. 0
    No, it is not the best plan, because some of those grandmothers who end up taking care of their daughter's children still have children to raise of their own. So grandma ends up being "mother" and "grandma." Some grandmas are not physically, financially, or emotionally able to do that, so grandma ends up dumping their darling newborn grandchildren on her other children when she gets tired or feed up. Nobody talks much about what these 12, 13, 14 year old "aunts" have to go through.

    I am speaking from experience. I was one of those 13 year old "aunts" and it was hard. I was up at midnight or 2 a. m. with a screaming baby when I had to be at school the next morning. If she acted up in public I was often blamed. I was expected to spend part of my babysitting money to help financially with this baby. I remember my mom once bought toys for her grandbaby when I clearly needed shoes. Even the shoe repair man said he could do nothing with them. When I asked her about buying me some shoes and showed her how raggety they were, she told me, "well, I'm not buying shoes today." I HAD TO GLUE THEM BACK TOGETHER!! Her father was a deadbeat completely, and at one time her mother wasn't much better.

    I don't know what the answer(s) to this is, but I just wanted to share a perspective.
    I'm sorry the tail end of your own childhood years were hijacked by your sister and your mother. The "skip-a-generation" parenting system is not a great plan. But it's usually better for the baby than depending on a young teen mom with no structure and no safety net.

    The inner city community seems destined for self destruction with few dads around to help raise their children on a consistent daily basis. The "state" is not a good daddy. One part of a father's role is to help kids learn the connection between cause and effect, so that they become motivated to do good and healthy things and avoid the choices that will harm them. The state does a terrible job of that. There is almost no accountability until the hammer drops and it's just about too late.

    Kids (young teens) having kids is symptom of a society that is heading in a dangerous direction.


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